S201神探夏洛克bbc第二季第一集全英剧本

S : Who are you? M: Jim Moriarty. M: Bye! S : Consulting criminal. M: I have loved this, this little game of ours. S : People have died. M: That's what people DO! S : I will stop you. M: If you don't stop prying......I'll burn you. M: I will burn the heart out of you. S : Catch you later. M: No, you won't! M: Sorry, boys! I'm SO changeable! It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself, it is my only weakness. You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't.I would try to convince you,but everything I have to say has already crossed your mind. S : Probably my answer has crossed yours. 【"Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees】 M: Do you mind if I get that? S : Oh, no, please. You've got the rest of your life. M: Hello?Yes, of course it is. What do you want? M: [sorry about that] S : [IT'S FINE] M: SAY THAT AGAIN! Say that again, and know that if you're lying to me, I will find you, and I will skin you. M: Wait.Sorry... Wrong day to die. S : Did you get a better offer? M: You'll be hearing from me, Sherlock. M: So if you have what you say you have, I will make you rich.If you don't, I'll make you into shoes. W: What happened there? S : Someone changed his mind. The question is.....who? A : Well, now, have you been wicked, Your Highness? Yes, Miss Adler. A Scandal in Belgravia S : What are you typing? W: Blog. S : About? W: Us. S : You mean me. W: Why? S : Well, you're typing a lot. S : Right, then. So, what have we got? My wife seems to be spending a very long time at the office. S : Boring. I think my husband might be having an affair. S : Yes. She's not my real aunt, she's been replaced. I know she has. I know human ash. S : Leave. We are prepared to offer any sum of money you care to mention for the recovery of these files. S : Boring. We have this website, it explains the true meaning of comic books, cos people miss a lot of the themes. But then all the comic books started coming true. S : Oh...interesting. S : Geek Interpreter what's that? W: That's the title. S : What does it need a title for? S : Do people actually read your blog? W: Where do you think our clients come from? S : I have a website. W: In which you enumerate 240 different types of tobacco ash. Nobody's reading your website. W: Right then, dyed blonde hair, no obvious cause of death, except for these speckles, whatever they are. S : Oh, for God's sakes! What? The Speckled Blonde?! They wouldn't let us see Granddad when he was dead. Is that cos he'd gone to heaven? S : People don't really go to heaven when they die, they're taken to a special room and burned. Sherlock... L : There was a plane crash in Dusseldorf yesterday. Everyone dead. S : Suspected terrorist bomb. We do watch the news. L : You said "boring" and turned over. L : Well, according to the flight details, this man was checked in on board. Inside his coat he's got a stub from his boarding pass, napkins from the flight, even one of those special biscuits. Here's his passport, stamped at Berlin Airport. So this man should have died in a plane crash in Germany yesterday, but instead he's in a car boot in Southwark. S : Lucky escape. Any ideas? S : Eight so far. OK, four ideas. Maybe two ideas. S : No, no, no, don't mention the unsolved ones. W: People want to know you're human. S : Why? W: Because they're interested. S : No, they're not. Why are they? W: Hmm, look at that. 1,895. S : Sorry, what? W: I reset that counter last night. This blog has had nearly 2,000 hits in the last eight hours. This is your living, Sherlock, not 240 different types of tobacco ash. S : 243. S : So what's this one? Belly Button Murders? The Navel Treatment? L : There's a lot of press outside, guys. S : Well, they won't be interested in us. L : Yeah，that was before you were an internet phenomenon. A couple of them specifically wanted photographs of you two. S : God's sake! John. W: Hmm? S : Cover your face and walk fast. W: Still, it's good for the public image, big case like this. S : I'm a private detective, the last thing I need is a public image. A : Hello. I think it's time, don't you? H : Oh, dear! Thumbs!? The door was... The door was... H : Boys! You've got another one! S : Tell us from the start, DON'T be boring. Hey! Are you OK? Excuse me! Are you all right? Sir, phone call for you. Carter. L : Have you heard of Sherlock Holmes? Who? L : Well, you're about to meet him now. This is your case, it's entirely up to you, this is just......friendly advice, but give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene, and listen to everything that he has to say. And as far as possible......try not to punch him. OK. Sir, this gentleman says he needs to speak to you... Yes, I know. Sherlock Holmes. W: John Watson. Are you set up for wi-fi? W: You realise this is a tiny bit humiliating? S : It's OK, I'm fine. Now......show me to the stream. W: I didn't really mean for you. S : Look, this is a six. There's no point in my leaving the flat for anything less than a seven, we agreed. Now go back, show me the grass. W: When did we agree that? S : We agreed it yesterday. Stop! Closer. W: I wasn't even at home yesterday. I was in Dublin. S :It's hardly my fault you weren't listening. Shut up! W: Do you just carry on talking when I'm away? S : I don't know, how often are you away? Now......show me the car that backfired. W: It's there. S : That's the one that made the noise, yes? W: Yeah. If you're thinking gunshot... ...there wasn't one. He wasn't shot, he was killed by a single blow to the back from a blunt instrument, which then magically disappeared, along with the killer. It's got to be an eight, at least. You've got two more minutes, they want to know more about the driver. S : Oh, forget him, he's an idiot. Why else would he think himself a suspect? I think he's a suspect. S : Pass me over. W: All right, but there's a mute button, and I will use it. S : Up a bit! I'm not talking from down here! W: OK. Just take it, take it. S : Having successfully committed a crime without a single witness......why would he call the police and consult a detective? Fair play? He's trying to be clever. It's overconfidence. S : Did you see him? Morbidly obese, the undisguised halitosis of a single man living on his own. The right sleeve of an internet porn addict, the breathing pattern of an untreated heart condition. Low self-esteem, tiny IQ and a limited life expectancy, and you think he's a criminal mastermind?! Don't worry, this is just stupid. What did you say? Heart what? S : Go to the stream. What's in the stream? S : Go and see. H : Sherlock! You weren't answering your doorbell. His room's through the back, get him some clothes. S : Who the hell are you? Sorry, Mr Holmes... W: Sherlock.what's going on? You're coming with us. W: What's happening?' I've lost him. I don't know what... Dr Watson? W: Yeah. It's for you. W: OK, thanks. No, sir, the helicopter. Please, Mr Holmes, where you're going you'll want to be dressed. S : I know exactly where I'm going. W: You wearing any pants? S : No. W: OK. W: At Buckingham Palace. Right. Aah, aah, I am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray. W: What are we doing here, Sherlock, seriously, what? S : I don't know. W: Here to see the Queen? S : Oh, apparently, yes. M: Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups? W: We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope. S : I was in the middle of a case, Mycroft. M: What, the hiker and the backfire? I glanced at the police report, a bit obvious, surely? S : Transparent. M: Time to move on then. M: We are in Buckingham Palace, the very heart of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on! S : What for? M: Your client. S : And my client is...? HA: Illustrious, in the extreme. And remaining, I have to inform you, entirely anonymous. HA: Mycroft. M : Harry. May I just apologise for the state of my little brother. HA: A full-time occupation, I imagine. And this must be Dr John Watson, formerly of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers? W: Hello, yes. HA: My employer is a tremendous fan of your blog. W: Your employer? HA: Particularly enjoyed the one about the aluminium crutch. W: Thank you. Ahem... HA: And Mr Holmes the Younger. You look taller in your photographs. S : I take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend. Mycroft, I don't do anonymous clients. I'm used to mystery at one end of my cases, both ends is too much work. Good morning. M : This is a matter of national importance. Grow up! S : Get off my sheet! M : Or what? S : Or I'll just walk away. M : I'll let you. W: Boys, please... Not here. S : Who is my client? M: Take a look at where you're standing, and make a deduction. You are to be engaged by the highest in the land, now, for God's sake! Put your clothes on! M: I'll be mother. S : And there is a whole childhood in a nutshell. HA: My employer has a problem. M: A matter has come to light of an extremely delicate and potentially criminal nature, and in this hour of need, dear brother, your name has arisen. S : Why? We have a police force of sorts, even a marginally secret service. Why come to me? HA: People come to you for help, don't they, Mr Holmes? S : Not to date anyone with a navy. M: This is a matter of the highest security, and therefore of trust. W: You don't trust your own secret service? M: Naturally not. They all spy on people for money. HA: I do think we have a timetable. M: Yes, of course. Erm... What do you know about this woman? S : Nothing whatsoever. M: Then you should be paying more attention. M: She's been at the centre of two political scandals in the last year, and recently ended the marriage of a prominent novelist by having an affair with both participants separately. S : You know I don't concern myself with trivia. Who is she? M: Irene Adler. Professionally known as "The Woman". W: Professionally? M: There are many names for what she does. She prefers "dominatrix". 【Downloading image】 S : Dominatrix. M: Don't be alarmed. It's to do with sex. S : Sex doesn't alarm me. M: How would you know? She provides, shall we say, recreational scolding for those who enjoy that sort of thing and are prepared to pay for it. These are all from her website. S : And I assume this Adler woman has some compromising photographs. HA: You're very quick, Mr Holmes. S : Hardly a difficult deduction. Photographs of whom? HA: A person of significance to my employer. We'd prefer not to say any more at this time. W: You can't tell us anything? M: I can tell you it's a young person. A young female person. S : How many photographs? M: A considerable number, apparently. S : Do Miss Adler and this young female person appear in these photographs together? M: Yes.They do. S : I assume in a number of compromising scenarios? M: An imaginative range, we are assured. S : John, you might want to put that cup back in your saucer now. M: Can you help us, Mr Holmes? S : How? M: Will you take the case? S : What case? Pay her, now and in full. As Miss Adler remarks in her masthead, know when you are beaten. M: She doesn't want anything. She got in touch. She informed us that the photographs existed. She indicated that she had no intention to use them to extort either money or favour. S : Oh, a power play. A power play with the most powerful family in Britain. Now that is a dominatrix. Ooh, this is getting rather fun, isn't it. W: Sherlock... M: Hmm. Where is she? In London, currently. She's staying... S : Text me the details, I'll be in touch by the end of the day. M: Do you really think you'll have news by then? S : No, I think I'll have the photographs. HA: One can only hope you're as good as you seem to think. S : I'll need some equipment, of course. HA: Anything you require, I'll have it sent... S :Can I have a box of matches? HA: I'm sorry? S : Or your cigarette lighter, either will do. HA: I don't smoke. S : No, I know you don't, but your employer does. HA: We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr Holmes. S : I'm not the Commonwealth. W: And that's as modest as he gets. Pleasure to meet you. S : Laters! W: OK, the smoking, how did you know? S : The evidence was right under your nose, John, as ever you see, but do not observe. W: Observe what? S : The ashtray. A : Kate? We're going to have a visitor. I'll need a bit of time to get ready. K : A long time? A : Hmm...ages. W: What are you doing? S : I'm going to into battle, John. I need the right armour. S : No. A : Nah. K : Works for me. A : Everything works on you. W: So, what's the plan? S : We know her address. W: We just ring her doorbell? S : Exactly. Just here, please. W: You didn't even change your clothes. S : Then it's time to add a splash of colour. W: Are we here? S : Two streets away, but this will do. W: For what? S : Punch me in the face. K : Shade? A : Blood. W: Punch you? S : Yes, punch me, in the face. Didn't you hear me? W: I always hear "punch me" when you speak but it's usually sub-text. S : Oh, for God's sakes! S : Thank you, that was... S : OK, I think we're done now, John! W: You want to remember, Sherlock, I was a soldier. I killed people. S : You were a doctor! W: I had bad days! K : What are you going to wear? A : My battle dress. K : Oh, lucky boy. K : Hello? S : Oh, very sorry to disturb you, um, I've just been attacked, um, um, and I think they, they took my wallet and, um, and my phone. Um, please could you help me? K : I can phone the police, if you want? S : Thank you. Could you, please? Would you mind if I just waited here, just until they come? Thank you, thank you so much. S : Thank you. Oh. W: I saw it all happen. It's OK, I'm a doctor. Have you got a first aid kit? K : In the kitchen. Please. W: Thank you. S : Thank you. A : Hello, sorry to hear you've been hurt. I don't think Kate caught your name? S : I'm so sorry, I'm... A : It's always hard to remember an alias when you've had a fright. Isn't it? Well, there now. We're both defrocked......Mr Sherlock Holmes. S : Miss Adler, I presume. A : Look at those cheekbones. I could cut myself slapping that face. Would you like me to try? W: Right, this should do it. I've missed something, haven't I? A : Please, sit down. Or if you'd like some tea, I can call the maid. S :I had some at the Palace. A : I know. S : Clearly. W: I had a tea too, at the Palace. If anyone's interested. A : Do you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr Holmes? However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait. S : You think I'm a vicar with a bleeding face? A : No, I think you're damaged, delusional and believe in a higher power. In your case, it's yourself. Hmm, and somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth, too. W: Ha-ha! Could you put something on, please? Er, anything at all. A napkin? A : Why? Are you feeling exposed? S : I don't think John knows where to look. A : No, I think he knows exactly where. I'm not sure about you. S : If I was to look at naked women, I'd borrow John's laptop. W: You do borrow my laptop. S : I confiscate it. A : Never mind, we've got better things to talk about. Now, tell me, I need to know – how was it done? S : What? A : The hiker with the bashed-in head - how was he killed? S : That's not why I'm here. A : You're here for the photographs, but that's never going to happen and as we're chatting... W: That story's not out. How do you know about it? A : I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes. W: Oh. And you...like policemen? A : I like detective stories. And detectives. Brainy is the new sexy. S : The position of the car relative to the hiker, that and the fact that the death blow was to the back of the head, that's all you need to know. A : OK, tell me, how was he murdered? S : He wasn't. A : You don't think it was murder? S : I know it wasn't. A : How? S : The same way I know the victim was a sportsman,recently returned from foreign travel and that the photographs I'm looking for are in this room. A : OK, but how? S : So they are in this room. Thank you. John, man the door, let no-one in. S : Two men alone in the countryside, several yards apart and one car. A : Oh, I, I thought you were looking for the photos now. S : No, no. Looking takes ages, I'm just going to find them, but you're clever and we've got a moment, so let's pass the time. Two men, a car, nobody else. Driver's trying to fix his engine. Getting nowhere. And the hiker is taking a moment, looking at the sky. Watching the birds? What? A : The hiker is going to die. S : No, that's the result. What's going to happen? A : I don't understand. S : Oh, well try to. A : Why? S : Because you cater to the whims of the pathetic and take your clothes off to make an impression. Stop boring me and think. It's the new sexy. A : The car's going to backfire. S : There's going to be a loud noise. A : So what? S : Noises are important. They can tell you everything. For instance... S : Thank you. On hearing a smoke alarm, a mother would look towards her child. Amazing how fire exposes our priorities. I really hope you don't have a baby in here. All right, John, you can turn it off now. S : I said you can turn it off now! W: Give me a minute! W: Thank you. S : You should always use gloves with these things, you know. Heaviest oil deposit is always on the first key used, that's a 3, but after that, the sequence is impossible to read. I see it's a six digit code. It can't be your birthday, no disrespect, but clearly you were born in the '80s and 8's barely used, so... A : I'd tell you the code right now, but you know what? I already have. Think. Hands behind your head, on the floor, keep it still! W: Sorry, Sherlock. Miss Adler, on the floor! S : Don't you want me on the floor, too? No, sir, I want you to open the safe. S : American. Interesting. Why would you care? Sir, the safe, now, please. S : I don't know the code. We've been listening, she said she told you. S : If you've been listening, you'll know she didn't. I assume I missed something. From your reputation, I assume you didn't, Mr Holmes. W: For God sake, she's the one who knows the code, ask her! Yes, sir, she also knows the code that automatically calls the police and sets off the burglar alarm. I've learned not to trust her. A : Mr Holmes doesn't... Shut up! One more word out of you,just one and I will decorate that wall with the insides of your head. That, for me, will not be a hardship. Mr Archer, at the count of three, shoot Dr Watson. W: What? S : I don't know the code. One. S : I don't know the code. Two. S : She didn't tell me, I don't know it! I'm prepared to believe you, any second now. Three! S : No, stop! Thank you, Mr Holmes. Open it, please. S : Vatican cameos! S : Do you mind? A : Not at all. W: He's dead. A : Thank you. You were very observant. W: Observant? A : I'm flattered. S : Don't be. W: Flattered? S : There'll be more of them, they'll be keeping an eye on the building. W: We should call the police. S : Yes. On their way. W: For God's sake! S : Oh, shut up, it's quick. S : Check the rest of the house, see how they got in. Well, that's the knighthood in the bag. S : Oh, and that's mine. S : All the photographs are on here, I presume? A : I have copies, of course. S : No, you don't. You'll have permanently disabled any kind of uplink or connection. Unless the contents of this phone are unique, you couldn't sell them. A : Who said I'm selling? S : Well, why would they be interested? Whatever's on the phone, it's clearly not just photographs. A : That camera-phone is my life, Mr Holmes. I'd die before I let you take it. It's my protection. W: Sherlock! S : It was. W: Must have come in this way. S : Clearly. W: It's all right, she's just out cold. A : Oh, God knows she's used to that. There's a back door. Better check it, Dr Watson. W: Sure. S : You're very calm. Well, your booby trap did just kill a man. A : He would have killed me. S : What is that?! What? A : Give it to me. Now, Give it to me. S : No. A : Give it to