老友记英语字幕Word版第一季第一集

老友记英语字幕Word版第一季第一集 happy. 《老友记》第一季第一集 莫妮卡的新室友 - No you don't. - No I don't, 中央咖啡馆 There's nothing to tell! to hell with her, she left me! He's just some guy I work with! And you never knew she was a lesbian... C'mon, you're going out with the guy! No!! Okay?! There's gotta be something wrong with him! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? So does he have a hump? A hump and a She didn't know, how should I know? hairpiece? Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Wait, does he eat chalk? Did I say that out loud? Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through Alright Ross, look. what I went through with Carl You're feeling a lot of pain right now. Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a You're angry. You're hurting. date. Can I tell you what the answer is? It's just two people going out to dinner Strip joint! and not having sex. C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones! Sounds like a date to me. I don't want to be single, okay? Alright, so I'm back in high school, I just...I just wanna be married again! I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria And I just want a million dollars! and I realize I am totally naked. Rachel?! Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Oh,God, Monica, hi! Thank God! Then I look down, and I realize there's a I just went to your building and you weren't phone there there. and then this guy with a big hammer said you - Instead of...? - That's right. might be here - Never had that dream. - No. and you are, you are! All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. - Can I get you some coffee? - De-Caff And it turns out it's my mother, Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, which is very-very weird because- another Lincoln High survivor. she never calls me! This is everybody, this is Chandler, Hi. and Phoebe, and Joey, This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. and you remember my brother Ross? Are you okay, sweetie? - Hi, sure! - Hi. I just feel like someone reached down my So you wanna tell us now throat or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? grabbed my small intestine, Oh, God...well, pulled it out of my mouth it started about a half hour before the wedding. and tied it around my neck... I was in the room where we were keeping all Cookie? the presents, Carol moved her stuff out today and I was looking at this gravy boat. - Let me get you some coffee. - Thanks. This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. No, no don't! Stop cleansing my aura! When all of a sudden No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Sweet 'n' Lo? I'll be fine, alright? I realized that I was more turned on Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, here with Monica... and that's when it hit me: Well, maybe that's my decision. how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!! familiar, Just breathe, breathe...that's it. but... Just try to think of nice calm things... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, Rain drops on roses and rabbits and kittens and I started wondering bluebells and sleighbells and something with "Why am I doing this, and who am I doing mittens... this for?" La la la something and noodles with string. These are a few... So anyway I just didn't know where to go, I'm all better now. and I know that you and I have kinda drifted I helped! apart, Okay, look, this is probably for the best, but you're the only person I knew y'know? who lived here in the city. Independence. Taking control of your life. Who wasn't invited to the wedding. And hey, you need anything, you can always Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an come to Joey. issue... Me and Chandler live across the hall. Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big And he's away a lot. pipe organ, Joey, stop hitting on her! and she's really not happy about it. It's her wedding day! Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! What, like there's a rule or something? I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Please don't do that again, it's a horrible Well, it matters to me! sound. Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. It's, uh, it's Paul. I say push her down the stairs. Buzz him in. Push her down the stairs! Push her down the - Who's Paul? - Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? stairs! Push her down the stairs! Maybe. C'mon Daddy, listen to me! Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight It's like, it's like, all of my life, is with Paul the Wine Guy? everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! - He finally asked you out? - Yes! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment. And today I just stopped and I said, Rach, wait, I can cancel... 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? Please, no, go, that'd be fine! What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to or a hat! stay? No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, That'd be good... I'm saying I am a ha- - Really? - No, go on! It's a metaphor, Daddy! It's Paul the Wine Guy! You can see where he'd have trouble. Hi, come in! Paul, this is... Look Daddy, it's my life. ...everybody, everybody, this is Paul. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica. - Hey! Paul! - Hello! Well, I guess we've established who's staying Hi! The Wine Guy! I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was - Oh my God! - I know, I know, I'm such an it? idiot. Okay, sit down. Two seconds. I guess I should have caught on when Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That she started going to the dentist four and five can't be good. times a week. So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to I mean, how clean can teeth get? tonight? My brother's going through that right now, Well, I was kinda supposed to be he's such a mess. headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so How did you get through it? nothing! Well, you might try accidentally breaking Right, you're not even getting your something valuable of hers, honeymoon, God.. - say her... - ...leg? No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... That's one way! Me, I- talk about your I went for the watch. big lizards... You actually broke her watch? Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... tonight, I know you probably think that this is all about Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me what I said the other day about you making put together my new furniture. love with your socks on, Yes, and we're very excited about it. but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I just... Well actually thanks, Hi, machine cut me off again... but I think I'm just gonna hang out here anyway...look, look, tonight. You know what the scariest part is? - It's been kinda a long day. - Okay, sure. What if there's only one woman for everybody, Hey, Pheebs, you wanna help? y'know? Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. I mean what if you get one woman- I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the and that's it? side things, Unfortunately in my case, there was only one using a bunch of these little worm guys. woman- for her... I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys What are you talking about? 'One woman'? whatsoever That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice and I cannot feel my legs. cream for you. What's this? Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots I have no idea. of flavors out there. - Done with the bookcase! - All finished! There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and This was Carol's favorite beer. Bing! Cherry Vanilla. She always drank it out of the can, I should You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or have known. whipped cream! Ross, let me ask you a question. This is the best thing that ever happened to She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- you! what did you get? You got married, you were, like, what, eight? You guys. Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon! - Oh, my God. - You got screwed. I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Oh my God! Stay out of my freezer! Ever since she walked out on me, I, uh... - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Stop. What?... What, you wanna spell it out with We'll talk later. noodles? Yeah. Thank you. No, it's, it's more of a fifth date kinda That wasn't a real date?! revelation. What the hell do you do on a real date? Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date? - Shut up, and put my table back. - Okayyy! Isn't there? All right, kids, I gotta get to work. Yeah... yeah, I think there is. If I don't input those numbers... What were you gonna say? it doesn't make much of a difference... Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, So, like, you guys all have jobs? um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. Yeah, we all have jobs. ...Sexually. See, that's how we buy stuff. Oh, God, Oh, God, I am sorry... Yeah, I'm an actor. - I am so sorry... - It's okay... Wow! Would I have seen you in anything? I know being spit on is probably not what you I doubt it. Mostly regional work. need right now. Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch - Um... how long? - Two years. the Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her Reruns' production of Pinocchio. watch! 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.' So you still think you, um... might want that - I will not take this abuse. - You're right, fifth date? I'm sorry. ...Yeah. Yeah, I do. "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! boy..." That's the difference! So how you doing today? Grab a spoon. Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? Do you know how long it's been since I've I can't stop smiling. grabbed a spoon? I can see that. Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean You look like you slept with a hanger in your anything to you? mouth. Y'know, here's the thing. I know, he's just so, so... Even if I could get it together enough to- to Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco? ask a woman out,... Oh, yeah. who am I gonna ask? Well, it's like that. With feelings. Isn't this amazing? - Wow,are you in trouble! I mean, I have never made coffee before in my Okay. Okay. I am just going to get up, go to entire life. work - That is amazing. - Congratulations. and not think about him all day. While you're on a roll Or else I'm just gonna get up and go to work. If you feel like you have to make a Western - Oh, look, wish me luck! - What for? omelet or something.. I'm gonna go get one of those job things. Although actually I'm really not that hungry... Hey, Monica! - Morning. - Good morning. Hey Frannie, welcome back! - Morning. - Morning, Paul. How was Florida? - Hello, Paul. - Hi, Paul, is it? You had sex, didn't you? - How do you do that? came to this city. So? Who? I was fourteen. You know Paul? My mom had just killed herself and my Paul the Wine Guy? step-dad was back in prison, Oh yeah, I know Paul. and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. You mean you know Paul like I know Paul? And I ended up living with this albino guy Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. who was, like, Y'know before me, there was no snap in his cleaning windshields outside port authority, turtle for two years. and then he killed himself, Of course it was a line! and then I found aromatherapy. Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. something like that? The word you're looking for is I assume we're looking for an answer more "Anyway"... sophisticated All right, you ready? than 'to get you into bed'. - I don't think so. Is it me? C'mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,... Is it like I have some sort of beacon Welcome to the real world! that only dogs and men with severe emotional It sucks. You're gonna love it! problems can hear? Well, that's it. You gonna crash on the couch? All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. No. No, I gotta go home sometime. I just thought he was nice, y'know? - You be okay? - Yeah. I can't believe you didn't know it was a line! Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. - Guess what? - You got a job? 什么 What? Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! That's Paul's watch. I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. You just put it back where you found it. Oh And yet you're surprisingly upbeat. boy You would be too if you found John and - Alright. Goodnight, everybody. - David boots on sale, Goodnight. fifty percent off! - Sorry- - No no no, go- Oh, how well you know me... No, you have it, really, I don't want it They're my new 'I don't need a job, - Split it? - Okay. I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' You know you probably didn't know this, boots! but back in high school, I had a, um, How'd you pay for them? major crush on you. Uh, credit card. I knew. And who pays for that? You did! Oh.... Um... my... father. I always figured you just thought C'mon, you can't live off your parents your I was Monica's geeky older brother. whole life. I did. I know that. That's why I was getting married. Oh. Listen, do you think Give her a break, it's hard being on your own and try not to let my intense vulnerability for the first time. become any kind of a factor here Thank you. but do you think it would be okay if I asked You're welcome. I remember when I first you out? Sometime? Maybe? Yeah, maybe... Okay... okay, maybe I will... - Goodnight. - Goodnight. See ya.... Waitwait, what's the deal? I just grabbed a spoon. I can't believe what I'm hearing here. I can't believe what I'm hearing here... What? I-I said you had a What I said you had... Would you stop? - Oh, was I doing it again? - Yes! Would anybody like more coffee? Did you make it, or are you just serving it? - I'm just serving it. - Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee. Kids, new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minelli-