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A Comparison of Daily Taboos Between Chinese and English Speaking Countries I. Introduction Every country has its own taboo. Taboo is a cultural or religious custom that does not allow people to do, use or talk about a particular thing as people find it offensive or embarrassing (Hornby 1796). We always meet problems when communicating with people from other countries if we don‟t understand their taboos. In order to make communication successful, we must learn them carefully. There are many kinds of taboos such as taboos in daily life, business and diplomacy. And this paper will mainly talk about taboos in daily life in China and English speaking countries. Taboos in daily life conclude four parts: food, sociality, holidays and numbers and dates. For all the academic studies I have colleccted, I classify the studies of taboos in western countries into two categories. One is talking about studies of taboos‟ origin, and the other is related to the studies of taboo customs. As far as studies of taboos‟ prigin is concerned, the book written by Wardhough claima that taboos are originally nothing than an objectified fear of a demonic power. Experts who study of taboos‟ in terms of customs and bahaviors in a society involve specific taboos of all sorts. Roger focuses on those which remain effective to urge that the existent taboo customs in diffeent cultures should keep sensitive and be cautious of his behavior in communication. In the book of The Comparison of Customs in Chinese and English Speaking Countries，Du Xuezeng says that taboos have dissimilarities even in the same culture because of different places, so do taboos in different culture. So taboos have become the obstacles that impede people‟s cross-culture communication. II. Taboos in Daily Life in Chinese and English Speaking Countries A. About Food - 1 - Food is a vital part of our daily life, so as the taboos on food. As the old Chinese saying goes, food is the first necessity of human being. The food custom is different between countries. There are two aspects about the taboos on food, one is the contents of food, and the other is the manner when having food. 1. Contents of Food As it is known to all, a Moslem doesn‟t have pork, a Hindu doesn‟t have beef, and a Buddhist doesn‟t have meat. People in English speaking countries avoid eating fat, sticky bones and the skins of chickens or ducks except for roasted skins. They also avoid having food made up with animal‟s head, feet and insides. Western people have strong sense to protect animals, so they don‟t eat some meat such as dogs and frogs. Americans dislike dishes which are spicy, and food which has big smells such as garlic and strong-smelling preserved bean curd. English people prefer food which is not strongly flavored, and they seldom eat seafood. Chinese people have few taboos towards what to eat. But they care about eating one kind of food together with another kind of food. For example, Chinese like to eat dumplings with vinegar, and twisted dough-strips with soy-bean milk. However, Chinese don‟t match a few kinds of food together, such as crabs with persimmons, spinaches and tofu, which are both bad for health. Chinese still pay attention to having food according to the season. One kind of food has their best time for people to eat. In Chinese view, eating leeks in spring or winter is good for knees, but it makes human beings dizzy in summer. Chinese still form other habits about eating food. They dislike smoking while having a meal. And they do not like drinking cold water or eating ice cream immediately after a meal. In New Year, fish is a necessity in China. It originates from an old Chinese saying “surplus year after year”. 2. Table Manners Table manners vary from country to country, and they are no less important since they are repeated many times every day. It must be done properly by whether eating alone, with family or with friends. One should train himself in proper eating manners. Western people have meals with knives and forks, not allowing making noise - 2 - by them. For Chinese, they use chopsticks and it is rude to knock bowls. As for people in English speaking countries, they abstain from wolfing down when they have a meal. They taboo to use knives and forks to make a cup noisy. It will bring bad luck if someone makes the cup noisy continuously. They don‟t like to leave dishes in plates, so they ask less for something they dislike. “But you had better accept all the food that the hostess give it to you, it means that you enjoy this invite” (Roger 11) . During having a meal, a person is not allowed to speak if his mouth is filled with food. Eat what is in front of you. If the dish you prefer is not close, you can ask your neighbor to help transfer it. Do not start eating ahead of the elders. For the elders, do not start eating before everyone is at the table. After finishing a meal, one must put his knife and fork in right place. And it is not polite to pick teeth before other people. Although Chinese have no taboos on eating any food, they have complicated table rules. Chinese have a strict standard on seats. They are divided into superior and inferior ones. The superior one is left for important guests and elders. On a banquet, they should sit according to the rules. And if a man sits behind a woman, he had better not only help himself but also take care of the woman. Chinese avoid coughing toward the dishes, and he must cover his mouth with a napkin if he coughs. It is also a bad action if someone stops his chopsticks and looks for which dishes he is going to have. Besides, Chinese never provide seven dishes one time for guests to eat because it is a custom after a funeral. They especially avoid inserting chopsticks upright in a bowl filled with rice, because it resembles someone is dead. It is not polite to make noises by knocking a bowl by one‟s chopsticks, and to some extent, it also means there are no meals any more. After a meal, one had better say “I‟m full” instead of “I have finished my meal” which is unlucky. Cantonese hate others asking if he had finished his meal very much. Both English speaking countries and China have a drinking culture. Coffee, tea and alcohol are three important factors. In English speaking countries, coffee is a basic kind of drinks for them. Some like pure coffee without sugar and milk, others prefer putting sugar and milk into his coffee. The important point is one needs to stir them with a teaspoon and drink it - 3 - directly, instead of using teaspoon to help drink it. Do not pour your drink down your throat in one gulp. Drink it in three sips. When it comes to alcohol, it is important to choose what kind of alcohol according to the environment. For instance, people drink appetizer wine before a meal, table wine during a meal, and cocktail or Whisky after a meal. In some significant banquet, they even change the wine according to the different dishes. When people need to celebrate something, Champagne is usually the first choice for them. Do not breathe out in your glass. This will irritate others and smudge the glass or the cup. Do not drink directly from the jug or the container, besides being unhealthy behavior, others who could be irrated may want to drink after you (Wardhough 130). Western people lay emphasis on the starts and the ends during drinking alcohol. Before the meal starts, the host proposes a toast to his guests, and they do not have to cheer noisily. Although coffee is gaining its effect on Chinese, tea still has a firm position in Chinese daily life. When drinking tea, Chinese prefer a small cup one time rather than a big one，because that is a way to taste the sweet-smelling in the tea. If there are some tea stalks floating, people should use a cup cover to sweep them away or blow them away instead of taking them out by hands. Chewing tea stalks is a bad habit, too. Drinking tea is different from coffee, Chinese don‟t add anything to it, such as milk or sugar. And people avoid drinking tea which is made too long or having stayed overnight, because it is unhealthy. As for alcohol, Chinese often claim to drink one kind of alcohol one time and do not like to mix some kinds of alcohol together as what western people like. If someone toasts firstly, other people must toast back to him. B. About Sociality Everyone needs to contact with others in daily life. If a person does not know the rules about sociality, he can not be respected by other people. People in western countries and China both have a lot of taboos on sociality. 1. Visitings In English-speaking countries，people feel uneasy about visitors who have not made an appointment before. If one makes a visit abruptly, people who he is visiting - 4 - may even refuse to talk with him. Because this sudden visiting may interrupt people‟s plan and bring great inconvenience. As time goes by, an unexpected visit is becoming a rude behavior. But for Chinese, they usually don‟t make an appointment except some special occasions such as a wedding or a funeral. Due to the increasing pace of daily life, bookings are actually more important than before, especially for businessmen. This is a good habit for both the visitors and the visited. “People in America often arrive three or five minutes later than the promissory time. And it is also a common thing for Americans to arrive ten minutes later” (朱光 7). If he comes earlier, he needs to wait for a while, because the hostess is busy cooking and can not change her clothes until five minutes earlier than the meal time. So it will make the hostess embarrassed if a visitor comes earlier. Chinese is completely different from Americans on this aspect, and they usually arrive three or four minutes earlier for showing respect. This is especailly necessary when meeting elders. Both Americans and Chinese don‟t like put off or call off their meeting without a good reason. If one is not available, he must tell about it before the appointment time and make an apology. 2. Topics In a get-together, a banquet or some other public occasions, people in western countries dislike to talk about their talkshops or work, because other people are not familiar with these topics and then it is hard to make a long talk. One will also be taken as having a narrow vision. But Chinese don‟t take it seriously, they prefer to talk about personal life and hear these topics. It is same that western people and Chinese don‟t like those who are eloquent and spreading himself. There are other things that people don‟t want to talk about. In English speaking countries, Christian is one of the main religions. Christians take committing suicide as a sin, so they avoid talking about suicide. Besides this, personal privacy is also a topic that people are unwilling to talk about. Personal privacy includes age, possession, wage, marriage and so on. Even if a westerner is asked how old he is, he will not speak the truth. And if a person asks an English man about how much his house is or what is the price of his car, the person will be taken as ill mannered. When talking with others, one had better not - 5 - involve in these topics, or it will make others unhappy. “The American old saying „go fly your kite‟ can vividly prove that Americans care about others‟ privacy very much” (李荣健 宋和平217). But when talking with westerners, one can speak of children‟s educating fees and travelling fees. For Chinese, these are common topics in daily life. And people often talk about them freely, they do not feel the same as western people do. Chinese certainly have their own taboos on topics. Those are generally something relating to others‟ dignity, such as others‟ weakness and defects. 3. Public Manners Western people also care about following orders very much in public, and they do not want to be disturbed. For example, if people are doing business in a bank or a post office, or visiting somewhere, they will make a queue according to their coming order, and keep some space between each other. Americans‟ general aversion to touching others and being touched is clearly evident in public places. “The keep to the right” rule is one means of reducing the likelihood that strangers will have physical contact with each other (焦英 钱清37). No one is allowed to cut in the line. In a restaurant full of people, the one who is arriving later can not disturb those who are at the table, and he must wait at the gate without walking around the restaurant to search for a seat. “The first-come, first-served rule” is popular in Americans‟ conception. The general notion is that the person who arrives first gets attention first. Alternative notions, such as giving priorite to older people or richer ones or males, do not normally occur to equality-minded Americans. Chinese also don‟t like others‟ jumping in a queue, but many people don‟t care about it. To some extent, Chinese like to grab a seat on the bus and be onlookers, these are actually not appropriate actions. Americans will rarely crowd onto a bus, train or other conveyance(Oateg 26). Chinese like to give snacks to a child in order to show their love, but this is unaccepted by American people. In American, even poor family provides enough snacks for their children and they are afraid that their children may be hurt by the poor quality food. So parents always tell their children not to accept strangers‟ snacks. In Americans‟ eyes, it is not an impolite behavior, and it is just a way to protect their children from being hurt by poisonous food. Chinese, especially elders, like to touch - 6 - children‟s head. However, in western countries, if a person touches a child‟s head, not only the child does not like it but also his parents feel unhappy. “If you think a child is very lovely, a kiss ,not touching his head, can make him happy” (金正昆 58).The dog is taken as a family member for people in English speaking countries, so do not feed a dog casually as Chinese like to do. And many dogs are trained to deal with strangers, it is dangerous to get close to them. There are many postmen being killed by dogs every month. Americans also think that adults can not spit out his tongue in front of others, because it seems rude and impolite. But Chinese do not mind about it. For western people, they often talk with each other in a low voice in public, and it is banned to speak loudly. This is the same as Chinese, but their volume is a little lower than Chinese. It symbolizes that they don‟t want to interfere others. For some exceptional cases, such as sneezing, people can‟t sneeze to others. After sneezing, one should say “excuse me”. Besides, Americans have a superstition that one can‟t make big noise by your feet when walking on the street, or it means cursing his mother. In China, it is a common phenomenon that one oversteps another. However, people in English speaking countries will say “excuse me” when he walks beyond another person. And they advocate gentlemen manners, a man must take care of a women. For example, if a man and a woman walk to a door simultaneously, the man should let the woman go first. 4. Gifts In daily life, people send gifts to others to express their feelings. This is a common phenomenon in every country. So it is important to know whether the gift is suitable or not. One can make a big mistake without the gift taboo knowledge. In English speaking countries, it is common for friends, colleagues and relatives to send small gifts to each other in daily life or their traditional holidays. It is appropriate that one should prepare small gifts when invited. Small gifts such as a pen or a book are enough to express one‟s gratitude for hosts‟ services. In some holidays, you can bring some gifts such as an excellent book, a box of candies or some beautiful flowers to show your holiday blessing. But they avoid sending expensive gifts. On the one hand, the gifts cost a lot and they may be thought as bribing. On the - 7 - other hand, one should send expensive gifts in return, but they don‟t form this habit and don‟t want to do it. In the past, Chinese agreed that cheap gifts from thousand miles away contain sincere gratitude. This is the same as westerners. However, there is one gift that Chinese dislike to receive. It is a clock. Because the clock sounds like death , which is unlucky. As the society develops, there prevails a bad habit. Chinese send more expensive gifts and more money. This has become a way to get acquainted with powerful people. People like to send flowers in English speaking country, and it is an elegant behavior. Different flowers suit to different situation. One can‟t send even flowers, because it is unlucky. So people often send odd flowers except 13. Then the color of a flower represents some meanings. For example, white flowers usually mean an omen of doom and death. People avoid sending white flowers to patients. “Yellow flowers are taken as unlucky symbols. English people never use yellow flowers as gifts because they stand for separating friends and relatives” (孟庆强 113). In some western countries like Britain and America, red flowers resemble life and passionate love. Pink ones resemble loyal love. So when one wants to send flowers, he must be careful about who he is going to send to and which situation it is. In China, people don‟t care so much about whether the number of the flowers are even or odd. But if one sends flowers to patients, he is not allowed to send flowers in basins. Because it may resemble that the patients‟ illness is rooted in his body. Both in western countries and China, there are some special customs on gifts. For instance, people don‟t send gifts to business partners to avoid bribing. They make a clear borderline between personal relationship and business relationship. And they don‟t send cheap gifts with company logos; it looks like advertising to others. It is not proper for men to send perfume, clothes and cosmetics to women. At last, sending gifts must have a reason. That is to say, don‟t suddenly send a gift to others. In English speaking countries, people send gifts when a baby is born, or on one‟s birthday, ect. C. About Holidays Every country has many common holidays, such as New Year. And they also - 8 - have unique traditional holidays, such as The Spring Festival in China, and Christmas Day in western countries. The New Year and Spring Festival are the days people make wishes and say goodbye to the past year. Christmas Day is the day for western families getting together. There are also some holidays for memorizing something or somebody. No matter which holiday is, people all want to create a good atmosphere and celebrate them with good wills. Because of such good wills, people must restrain themselves and behave well in case of destroying the festival atmosphere. Holiday taboos come into being. 1. Christmas Day Christmas Day is one of the most important holidays in western countries. Christmas is in honor of the birth of Jesus, and taboos in this holiday are connected with Christmas puddings. Puddings in western countries are just like dumplings in China. Western people think that it will bring good luck for a year by stirring puddings. So every member in a family stirs puddings and makes a wish, they also believe that their wish may come true. The taboo is that they can only stir puddings in clockwise direction and don‟t tell anyone else his wills. 2. New Year‟s Day People in Western countries attach great importance to New Year‟s Day because it is the first day of a year. So everyone behaves carefully and makes a most suitable beginning on this day. Then they believe good luck will accompany them in the coming year. The first visitor in a family is thought to determine whether the family will be lucky or not in the next year as he is regarded as a symbol. “The luckiest visitor for a family is a stranger with black hair. Friends with black hair rank the second” (李金珠 23). A visitor who has red hair or who is crossed-eyed is a bad luck ambassador. In order to avoid it happening, they will make some arrangements such as inviting a guest to be the first visitor. And the visitor ought to come after the clock strikes 12 to make sure that he is the first lucky visitor. If a family member plays the role of the first visitor, he will be sent outside the house to make preparations. And the first visitor should bring some presents, not expensive but meaningful. For example, bread means living in affluence and a piece of coal symbolize warmth. - 9 - 3. Spring Festival In China, there are some taboos about holidays, and they are especially connected with Chinese traditional holidays, Spring Festival. For instance, people are forbidden to say unlucky words such as “si” or “bing”. In order to bring good fortune, people will say Happy New Year to each other. Children had better speak less because they are naïve and may speak some unlucky words which will bring bad luck. And it is ominous if someone breaks bowls into pieces, he must say “sui sui ping an” to make up for it. And at the first day of the first month, taking out of the trash is not allowed because Chinese believe that this will pour out good fortune and luck in making money. Women do not comb hair for the same reason. Married women had better not go back to her parents‟ home because she may make her parents poor. She can wait until the second day of the first month. During Spring Festival, bad luck will accompany those who asks for payments of debt, so people avoid doing businesses about debt. And having medicine is also unlucky because it means that one will keep sick along the whole year. 4. Tomb-sweeping Day The above taboos are related to happy and joyful holidays , and there are taboos about sad ones. Tomb-sweeping Day is a holiday to commemorate the dead, so the atmosphere is sorrowful. And taboos on this holiday are relevant with the sad atmosphere. Tomb-sweeping Day is before or after April fifth. On this day, people should wear light-colored clothes instead of colorful clothes. One of the most important things on this day is tomb sweeping to memorize the dead, but people must choose daytime to do it because Yin Qi is heavy at night and people may get sick. Tomb sweeping is a serious thing, people can not smile, speak loudly, run around and so on, or it is not respectful for the dead. Following an order is necessary on giving thanks to the dead. And father is often the first one to worship the dead, mother is the second one, son and daughter will be the next. Because Tomb-sweeping Day is a day for dead people, it is unlucky to visit friends or relatives, let alone marrying on this day. It is embarrassing to break these taboos when communicating with people in - 10 - other countries. So understanding and respecting native custom is important. When in Rome, do as Romans do. Everyone must bear this in mind. D. About Numbers and Dates In daily life, people always have preference to some numbers and dates, and they think that these numbers will bring good luck to them. At the same time, people dislike other numbers, because those numbers seem to have unlucky power. Although this is superstitious to some extent, people do believe that some numbers are so magic that their life can be smoothed or frustrated by them. All the countries in the world have his favor about numbers and dates. But it is interesting that the numbers that Chinese prefer and dislike have no meaning for westerners, the numbers that western people care about so much have no sense for Chinese. 1. Number 4 In some Asian countries, such as China, Japan and North Korea, number 4 is looked as an unlucky number because it sounds like “death”. In Japan, there is no fourth floor and fourth room in the hospital, and no one is allowed to say number four when visiting the patients. Chinese are nearly the same as Japanese, and they don‟t like many numbers with four. For example, when Chinese choose telephone numbers, they will keep away from number 4. Chinese especially mind number 4 if they select the car number, because, in Chinese opinion, a lucky string of numbers may help avoid car accidents. The number 14, 54 and some kinds of numbers that contain four are all unpopular among Chinese. So if western people want to send gifts to Chinese friends, they should keep in mind that the gifts must restrain from number 4. In English speaking countries, there are basically no taboos about number 4 except for one thing, people don‟t get married on Thursday. They think Thursday is an unlucky day. 2. Number 13 For western people, 13 is a number that make them terrified, so they try their best to keep off it in daily life. It will never happen that 13 people sit together having a meal. Thirteen can not be used on numbering a door and a building; Students also refuse to sit at thirteenth seat; no players will choose to be the thirteenth one. And - 11 - people sometimes prove the great power of number 13 with the truths, for instance, in April 13,1970, Apolo 13th from the 39th launch pad had been a failure because of the Oxygen cylinder‟s explosion. There are three points that are related to 13 in this accident, so in people‟s mind, it is hard to avoid it. September 13th and December 13th in 1985 are both Friday, so people in English speaking countries feared about these two days so much that they even pretended ill and stayed at home in order to get away from some accidents. In reality, nothing happened on the day relevant with number 13, so it is just a psychological reaction for people to be afraid of number 13. Opinions vary on the reasons about taking number 13 as taboos. “It is generally thought that when Jesus and his disciples had dinner together, Judas, who betrayed Jesus just because of 30 silver coins, was the thirteenth one at the table. And Jesus was killed by nailing on the cross on 13th, it was also Friday” (杜学增 234).The story was recorded in the Bible, and people‟s fear about number 13 came from it. In middle age, the pay for an executioner is 13 coins, the circle for killing people has 13 strings, and the stair for the criminals has 13 steps. These can all explain why western people dislike number 13. 3. Friday In the concept of western people, Friday is a bad day. Some scholars think that the reason why people dislike Friday originates from the story of Jesus, and other scholars think that it is because Adam ate the forbidden food on Friday. In order to prove the ridiculousness of the superstition on Friday, English navels once named their ship “Friday”, and got a captain whose surname was Friday, then made their travel on Friday. But it ended tragically. No one had come back, and people lost contact with them. From then on, Friday became mysterious in people‟s heart. III. Conclusion To sum up, taboos are penetrating into every aspect. From basic necessities of life to social contact and cultural activities, taboos always exist. For example, when a person from China is having meals with people from English countries, he should care about what to eat and how to behave well. When he wants to send a gift to express his - 12 - friendship, he should be careful about sending which kinds of gifts. When spending holidays with foreigners, he should not break the atmosphere. And he must bear in mind that what numbers are unlucky for foreigners. In order to associate smoothly with people in English speaking countries, everyone needs to know about what they avoid to do and take care of not touching those taboos. - 13 - Works Cited Hornby, Albert Sydney. Oxford Advanced Learner‟s English-Chinese Dictionary. 北 京:商务印书馆，2004. John, S.O. A Manual of Etiquette. Beijing:Beijing Development Press，1999. Oateg, Helen. The Customs and Language of Social Interaction. Shanghai: Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press,1999. Roger, E.Axtell. Do‟s and Taboos Around the World. Shanghai:Shanghai Translation Press, 1998. Wardhough. An Introduction to Sociolinguistics. 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