一篇关于婚姻心理学的文章

一篇关于婚姻心理学的文章 在此，笔者希望从一个基督徒临床心理学家的角度，根据当代心理婚姻学界对婚姻问题的研究，来探讨、解析婚姻破裂的原因，并试图将笔者认为当今世界最好的一些婚姻治疗学派的治疗理念加以综合分析，并从中归纳出七个婚姻重建的要素，供有志于重建家园的弟兄姊妹参考。 世界性的难题 婚姻是个奥秘。在现代社会中，要求美满的婚姻更非易事。UniversityofWashington的Dr.JohnGottman是当今美国最受尊重的心理学家之一。他花费二十多年的时间，研究婚姻失败的原因。1994年，在综合了许多统计资料后，他发现80年代美国的离婚率虽渐趋缓，但在90年代却有显着回升的倾向。 他认为，目前美国的离婚率介于50%到67%之间。这意味着其严重性在于，每当3对情侣办理结婚手续的同时，就另有2对正在办理离婚。the drawings, first to become familiar with the drawings, mainly about the following aspects: 1) pages of drawings and diagrams, maps; 2) a comprehensive understanding of drawing; 3) finding of design-driven dimensions (), do not resize and adjust the size; 4) questioned the drawings; 5) develop buries a construction programme and technical clarification; 6) clear corners and special treatment; 7) controlled construction drawings to verify construction scheme and design. (2) at the construction site to find subject planted area: various engineering, first on the scene to find planted area, it must first understand the curtain wall installation section, and some projects are all curtain wall, the entire project is a region-wide, only partial walls, the zone is local. (3) identify the axis positioning: positioning the drawings shown in axis compared with the actual construction site to find out exactly where the axis positioning, axis positioning function are: 1) to help determine the origin of curtain walls; 2) acceptance of the installation is accurate; 3) adjust errors, and determine the error range. (4) find anchor points: according to site to find the exact location of the axis, according to the drawings provided by the content determine the positioning point; number of anchor points shall not be less than two points. Repeated measurements determine the location points must ensure that the positioning is correct. (5) take level (level): level (minor works available in horizontal pipe), the two anchor points determine the horizontal position. Level according to use 然而，这并不代表现代人已经放弃了婚姻制度，因离婚者中有80%的男性与72%的女性还要再结婚。 研究还显示，离婚似乎并非解决问题的最好办法，因为第二次的离婚率是介于55%到75%之间。 在北京，1990年的离婚率是12%，短短4年后变为24.4%。台湾呢,1980年在12对夫妻中有一对离婚的比数;一九九五年上升到5:1。 没有离婚的夫妻感情是否就好呢,并非如此。根据美国心理学家Dr.Ruben的研究，真正你侬我侬，如鱼得水的婚姻不超过10%。有百分之四十40%的婚姻是在“食之无味、弃之可惜”的情况下马马虎虎地得过且过。剩下的50%则活在“水深火热”之中，苦不堪言。虽然天天怒目相视，彼此怀恨，但为了某些原因(如子女或经济)，还是硬撑着，在“人间地狱”的煎熬下度日如年。 the drawings, first to become familiar with the drawings, mainly about the following aspects: 1) pages of drawings and diagrams, maps; 2) a comprehensive understanding of drawing; 3) finding of design-driven dimensions (), do not resize and adjust the size; 4) questioned the drawings; 5) develop buries a construction programme and technical clarification; 6) clear corners and special treatment; 7) controlled construction drawings to verify construction scheme and design. (2) at the construction site to find subject planted area: various engineering, first on the scene to find planted area, it must first understand the curtain wall installation section, and some projects are all curtain wall, the entire project is a region-wide, only partial walls, the zone is local. (3) identify the axis positioning: positioning the drawings shown in axis compared with the actual construction site to find out exactly where the axis positioning, axis positioning function are: 1) to help determine the origin of curtain walls; 2) acceptance of the installation is accurate; 3) adjust errors, and determine the error range. (4) find anchor points: according to site to find the exact location of the axis, according to the drawings provided by the content determine the positioning point; number of anchor points shall not be less than two points. Repeated measurements determine the location points must ensure that the positioning is correct. (5) take level (level): level (minor works available in horizontal pipe), the two anchor points determine the horizontal position. Level according to use 症结何在呢, 进入自由恋爱的时代后，大多数人不都是两情相悦才结婚的吗,为何现代婚姻会如此困难, 婚姻学家Dr.Kayser的研究发现: 缺乏互敬:(LackofMutuality)即夫妻的一方长久地一意孤行，漠视对方的要求，是致爱情于死地的最大原因。 此外，UniversityofDenver的心理学家Dr.Markman，根据多年婚姻实证研究的结果指出，夫妻间不懂得以建设性的方法来解决冲突是婚姻失败的主因。这与前面提过的Dr.Gottman的研究结果是一致的。 the drawings, first to become familiar with the drawings, mainly about the following aspects: 1) pages of drawings and diagrams, maps; 2) a comprehensive understanding of drawing; 3) finding of design-driven dimensions (), do not resize and adjust the size; 4) questioned the drawings; 5) develop buries a construction programme and technical clarification; 6) clear corners and special treatment; 7) controlled construction drawings to verify construction scheme and design. (2) at the construction site to find subject planted area: various engineering, first on the scene to find planted area, it must first understand the curtain wall installation section, and some projects are all curtain wall, the entire project is a region-wide, only partial walls, the zone is local. (3) identify the axis positioning: positioning the drawings shown in axis compared with the actual construction site to find out exactly where the axis positioning, axis positioning function are: 1) to help determine the origin of curtain walls; 2) acceptance of the installation is accurate; 3) adjust errors, and determine the error range. (4) find anchor points: according to site to find the exact location of the axis, according to the drawings provided by the content determine the positioning point; number of anchor points shall not be less than two points. Repeated measurements determine the location points must ensure that the positioning is correct. (5) take level (level): level (minor works available in horizontal pipe), the two anchor points determine the horizontal position. Level according to use Dr.Gottman是全美最用心血去研究婚姻的学者之一。他化费二十多年的青春，做了二十多个对象超过2000人的实证研究;也曾用了将近10年的时间，以问卷、晤谈，长期追踪研究了484对夫妻;通过血压、电波等生理信号测量，加上录影，并把录影带中夫妻有声无声的互动行为做了详尽的分析。 结果，他能以面谈中的6个变数、一些问卷与一小段录影带的分析来预测那些夫妇在未来四年中将会走上分手的道路。其预测的准确度高达94%。(可见很多时候婚姻的结果并不是“偶然因素”触发，实是必然的结果)他的研究给我们提供许多重要的资料，帮助我们深入了解婚姻破裂的过程，同时也引导我们进行预防与治疗的方向。因为篇幅所限，在此只能分享他研究成果中的两个发现? 一是他发现婚姻的四大杀手是"Criticism"(批评、指控)"Defensiveness"(防卫、反击)，"Contempt"(轻蔑对方)，及"Stone-walling"(筑墙、冷战)。 the drawings, first to become familiar with the drawings, mainly about the following aspects: 1) pages of drawings and diagrams, maps; 2) a comprehensive understanding of drawing; 3) finding of design-driven dimensions (), do not resize and adjust the size; 4) questioned the drawings; 5) develop buries a construction programme and technical clarification; 6) clear corners and special treatment; 7) controlled construction drawings to verify construction scheme and design. (2) at the construction site to find subject planted area: various engineering, first on the scene to find planted area, it must first understand the curtain wall installation section, and some projects are all curtain wall, the entire project is a region-wide, only partial walls, the zone is local. (3) identify the axis positioning: positioning the drawings shown in axis compared with the actual construction site to find out exactly where the axis positioning, axis positioning function are: 1) to help determine the origin of curtain walls; 2) acceptance of the installation is accurate; 3) adjust errors, and determine the error range. (4) find anchor points: according to site to find the exact location of the axis, according to the drawings provided by the content determine the positioning point; number of anchor points shall not be less than two points. Repeated measurements determine the location points must ensure that the positioning is correct. (5) take level (level): level (minor works available in horizontal pipe), the two anchor points determine the horizontal position. Level according to use 二是他发现会吵架的夫妻，婚姻状况并不见得比不吵架的夫妻来得 差;重要的是“正性互动”与“负性互动”的比率 ("Positiveinteractionvs.Negativeinteraction")要大于5:1。 在此，他似乎运用了心理学上的社会交换理论的观念。婚姻关系可比 喻为一个银行帐户，只要彼此“存款 the drawings, first to become familiar with the drawings, mainly about the following aspects: 1) pages of drawings and diagrams, maps; 2) a comprehensive understanding of drawing; 3) finding of design-driven dimensions (), do not resize and adjust the size; 4) questioned the drawings; 5) develop buries a construction programme and technical clarification; 6) clear corners and special treatment; 7) controlled construction drawings to verify construction scheme and design. (2) at the construction site to find subject planted area: various engineering, first on the scene to find planted area, it must first understand the curtain wall installation section, and some projects are all curtain wall, the entire project is a region-wide, only partial walls, the zone is local. (3) identify the axis positioning: positioning the drawings shown in axis compared with the actual construction site to find out exactly where the axis positioning, axis positioning function are: 1) to help determine the origin of curtain walls; 2) acceptance of the installation is accurate; 3) adjust errors, and determine the error range. (4) find anchor points: according to site to find the exact location of the axis, according to the drawings provided by the content determine the positioning point; number of anchor points shall not be less than two points. Repeated measurements determine the location points must ensure that the positioning is correct. (5) take level (level): level (minor works available in horizontal pipe), the two anchor points determine the horizontal position. Level according to use