新成长的烦恼第1季05

新成长的烦恼第1季05 BOY: Hey, I aced it. GIRL: Look out, Harvard. ( buzzer signaling ) TOON LIZZIE: Surprise, another B. It's not bad. It's just... a B-- boring... bland... blah... blah again. ( bell dings ) ( popping ) ( bell dings ) ( flashbulb popping ) TOON LIZZIE: Ever notice that everyone seems to be great at something? LIZZIE: Hey, great necklace. MIRANDA: Thanks. I made it out of soda cans. TOON LIZZIE: See what I mean? All I can do with a soda can is recycle it. GORDO: No, don't-don't turn that way. I'm losing my shot. TOON LIZZIE: Gordo's in search of his next documentary and I can barely take a Polaroid. ( yells ) MIRANDA: What's up? LIZZIE: Mmm, English test grades are up. MIRANDA: Another B? LIZZIE: What else? I am so sick of getting Bs. I want an A at something. GORDO: You could be an actress. You look pretty good through the camera. LIZZIE: You think? GORDO: Sure. LIZZIE: ( giggling ): Cool. GORDO: Or a stuntwoman. THEME SONG: * If you believe * * We've got a picture-perfect plan * * We've got you fooled * * 'Cause we only do the best we can * * And sometimes we make it * * And sometimes we fake it * * But we get one step closer each and every day * * We'll figure it out on the way. * MIRANDA: There's absolutely nothing happy about Mondays beginning with the dreaded and most feared Coach Kelly. LIZZIE: Shyeah, queen of the gym-nauseum. MIRANDA: Evil PE Sorceress. ( cackling ) MIRANDA: I wonder what our new sport is this time. LIZZIE: Whatever it is, I bet I'm just as bad at it as I was at archery. ( missile falling ) LIZZIE: Coach Kelly shouldn't park her car so close to the field. COACH KELLY: Rhythmic gymnastics... a combination of gymnastics and ballet requiring supreme skill and coordination. TOON LIZZIE: And floppy shoes and a red clown nose. LIZZIE: You've got to be kidding me. MIRANDA: This is a pimple on the face of women's sports. LIZZIE: Yeah, you think she gets paid extra for humiliating us? COACH KELLY: You can use the ball the hoops, the clubs or the ribbon in any combination but let's just start with the basics for today. MIRANDA: Girls PE totally sucks. LIZZIE: Yeah, they don't make the boys do freaky stuff like this. They get to do all the cool things. COACH KELLY: Any volunteers? MIRANDA: No. ( gasps ) ( whimpering ): Inside voice, inside voice. COACH KELLY: Miranda... did I just hear you volunteer to demonstrate? MIRANDA: Um... COACH KELLY: Good. Then why don't you show us how it's done? ( drumroll ) MIRANDA: ( gasps ) Oops. I'm going to go get them. Bye. COACH KELLY: Kate, why don't you show us how it's really done? KATE: Okay. Let's see if I can. ( drumroll ) KATE: Ow! ( laughing ) COACH KELLY: Looks like you'll be needing a little extra practice, Kate. KATE: There must be some mistake. I am good at everything. Can't I just try again? ( laughing ) COACH KELLY: Lizzie McGuire! LIZZIE: ( gasps ) COACH KELLY: Something amusing you? LIZZIE: No, n-not really. COACH KELLY: Then amuse me with your ribbon skills. LIZZIE: Okay. Um... Coach... I... I don't think I really know h-how to... COACH KELLY: Flunk? You need some help? LIZZIE: No. ( zapping ) TOON LIZZIE: Well, that's just perfect. I find the thing I'm great at and it's the stupidest thing in the world. What's next, Riverdancing? KATE: Hey, Coach, um, I figured out why I dropped the clubs. See, I still had moisturizer on my hand to keep my skin soft and supple. Can you believe it? Anyway, um... I was just hoping that I could have a second chance if that would be at all possible. COACH KELLY: Okay, Kate. KATE: Now? COACH KELLY: Yeah. KATE: It'd be my pleasure. (to LIZZIE) I don't care if this is dorky. It's just one more thing I'm better at than you are. Watch and learn. ( drumroll ) ( laughing ) COACH KELLY: Okay, then are we finished now? KATE: There's something wrong with this stupid ribbon. COACH KELLY: Thank you, Kate. May I have a moment alone with Lizzie? TOON LIZZIE: Thank goodness my best friend would never leave me alone with Coach Kelly. ( motorcar racing ) TOON LIZZIE: Uh... maybe it's time for that "best friend" talk. COACH KELLY: Lizzie, in all of my years of teaching I have never seen someone take to rhythmic gymnastics like you. You're like a duck to water. TOON LIZZIE: You're like a bird to the sky. You're like a... "Loo" to a "ser." LIZZIE: W-Well, I-I guess it was pretty good. TOON LIZZIE: I'm good at burping... ( belches ) but does that make it a sport? COACH KELLY: Lizzie, I want you to represent our school in the upcoming rhythmic gymnastics regional competition. ( national anthem playing ) COACH KELLY: You're an incredibly talented athlete. LIZZIE: Really? COACH KELLY No... ( needle scratches ) COACH KELLY: but you are good at this. TOON LIZZIE: That was almost a compliment. Maybe I should think about this. COACH KELLY: We'll talk later. ( door closes ) KATE: ( giggling ) MIRANDA: Something funny? KATE: Yeah, your friend. Tell her she must be really proud to have finally found her calling-- Queen of the Ribbon Dorks. MIRANDA: Face it, Kate-- You're just mad 'cause she's great at it and you stink at it. ( clanks ) MIRANDA: See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya. GORDO So, what'd Coach Kelly want? LIZZIE: Well... ( fanfare trumpeting ) ( clock ticking ) LIZZIE: But I... but I shouldn't do it, right? I mean, we think this whole thing's kind of ridiculous, don't we? Don't we? MIRANDA: No, it's... cool. LIZZIE: Oh, come on, Miranda. I think we all know that rhythmic gymnastics is a little bit lame. MIRANDA: Lame is such a strong word. It's lame-ish, but... GORDO: But the important thing is I have a topic for my documentary-- The Making of a Champion. MIRANDA: And it is something you're better at than Kate. ( clangs ) LIZZIE: True, I-I do like that part. GORDO: So, you are going to do it, right? ( clock ticking ) LIZZIE: I don't know. So, you think I should do it? JO: An Olympic sport? Absolutely. SAM: Maybe next time, they'll have the Olympics someplace really good like Hawaii... or Orlando. LIZZIE: Isn't rhythmic gymnastics just a little bit lame? MATT: Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. SAM: Matthew... LIZZIE: See? Even lame-o knows it's lame. MATT: Well, thank you. Hey, wait a minute. LIZZIE: Then again, how many talents do you get in one lifetime? MATT: I have six. One is that curlycue thing I can do with my tongue. Two is saying anyone's name backwards-- Tarzan-- Nazrat. Three is eating spoonfuls of wasabi. Four is... LIZZIE: Plus, you always said I could do anything if I set my mind to it. MATT: Really? Well, you never told me that. SAM: You sure? ( crowd cheering ) MAN: And the gold medal goes to Lizzie McGuire! ( cheering ) ( chanting ): Lizzie! Lizzie! Lizzie! GORDO: We can't push Lizzie into doing something shameful just because I want to make a documentary and you want to one-up Kate. MIRANDA: We can't? Okay, we can't. You're right. GORDO: Being humiliated during puberty can have deep and lasting psychological consequences. MIRANDA: You've been into your dad's shrink files again, haven't you? GORDO: His Tuesday at 3:30 is really scary. MIRANDA ( laughs ) LIZZIE: Hey, guys. MIRANDA: Oh, Lizzie... we need to talk to you. LIZZIE: Oh, good. I have been up thinking about rhythmic gymnastics all night and I've had a big attitude adjustment. GORDO: And, uh, how do you feel about that? LIZZIE: Great. I can win this thing. I know I can. I feel strong and determined and I wanted to find something I was good at so... I found it and I'm 100% going for the gold. MIRANDA: You are? GORDO: Well, I think we've had a major breakthrough. LIZZIE: Thanks. MIRANDA: What do we do now? GORDO: Lights, camera, action. larm buzzing ) ( up-tempo pop intro ) * I need your ( a attention * * Attention * * I need your attention * * The sun is rising * * It's shining on a brand-new day * * A new beginning * * Showing you a new way * * You feel it building * * It's flowing like a tidal wave * * It's time to do it * * Get up and show it * * We and the both of us now * * No! * * And shout * * No! No! * * Check it out * * No! * * And me * * No! * * Everybody must shout * * No! * * And shout * * No! No! * * Check it out * * No! * * And me * * No! No! * ( instrumental break ) * I need your attention * * Attention * * I need your attention * * Attention * * Got to get up, got to do it * * Got to boom-boom, got to do it * * Got to get up, got to do it * * Got to boom-boom, got to do it * * Got to get up, got to do it * * Got to boom-boom, got to do it * * Got to get up, got to do it * * Got to boom-boom, got to do it * * Oh! * TOON LIZZIE :( whimpering ): Yo. MIRANDA: Whoa! You look like Neve Campbell at the end of Scream. LIZZIE: Which is pretty good compared to the way I feel. I'm hurt, I'm tired, I'm hungry and I wish they would vote me off this island. GORDO: Wow, morning, superstar. Did I mention how great you look on film? This "Making of a Champion" is turning out so cool. You'd better get an Oscar speech ready. KATE: Well, if it isn't Miss Rhythmic Gymnastics. TOON LIZZIE: Well if it isn't Miss Clubfoot. Lizzie? Lizzie@biggiantloser.com? KATE: What's your email, GORDO: Could you say that one more time for the camera, Kate? I'm trying to cast the part of the bitter, talentless girl. LIZZIE: Kate, you're great at everything. Why can't you let someone be better than you at one thing? KATE: Because I'm not about to sit back and let the dorks take over. You'd better watch your step, McGuire. LIZZIE: I'm not the one with the ankle brace. ( clanging ) ( whistle blowing ) COACH KELLY: Excellent! Again. Now, come on, give me five more of those and really make 'em sing. Again. ( cat yowling ) ( cat shrieks ) COACH KELLY: Again. ( whistle blows ) KATE: Hi, Larry. LARRY: Hi, Kate. KATE: Oh, you know my name? I didn't even think you noticed me. LARRY: ( chuckling ) Yeah, me not notice you, right. ( braying laughter ) KATE: Wow. That looks so complicated. LARRY: No not really. I'm just growing some penicillin resistant strains of bacteria. KATE: Oh. LARRY: No, I'm just kidding-- it's mold! KATE: ( laughing ) Of course it is. Larry, could I ask you a little favor? LARRY: Mm-hmm. JO: Honey, you want to try this on? Mmm, smells so good. What are you making? LIZZIE: Chocolate chip cookies. JO: Something bothering you? LIZZIE: No. Why? JO: Well, the night before you started middle school you made brownies. When your parakeet flew away, you made muffins. When Miranda went to summer camp, you made banana bread. You're baking; something's bothering you. TOON LIZZIE: What's bothering me is I'm trying to win a gold medal in geek. LIZZIE: I guess I'm a little stressed out about this gymnastics meet. JO: Oh, honey, you're working so hard, and you're so good at it. The most important thing is that you're doing something you love and you're giving it your best shot and your dad and I we'll be proud of you no matter what. But I have a feeling you're going to win. MATT: Of course she is. She's the dork champion of the world. LIZZIE: ( scoffs ) ( up-tempo music playing ) GORDO: Plucked from obscurity Lizzie McGuire has overcome insurmountable challenge... ANNOUNCER: That was Tracy Curtis from Fairoaks Middle School. Next up, Lizzie McGuire from North Hills Junior High. MIRANDA: Hey, Gordo, what are you looking at? ( up-tempo music plays ) * When the spotlight lands on you * * Suddenly you star * * It's your light * * That's when it's your turn * * To light on fire * * Watch it burn * * It's your moment * * Let it shine * * When it's all eyes on you * * Show 'em where you come from * * When it's all eyes on you * * Stand up! * * Stand up... * * Eyes on you... * * ...standing still * * That's the moment when you... * TOON LIZZIE: Note to self: bring extra hoop. * ...your best friend * * See you win * * See you win... * GORDO: Lizzie! * When it's all eyes on you * * Show 'em where you come from * * When it's all eyes on you * * Stand up * * Stand up... * MIRANDA: Drop it, Tudgeman. LARRY: But I can't; Kate won't love me anymore. MIRANDA: Maybe this is empty. Do you feel lucky, Tudgeman? Huh? Do ya? * ...all eyes on you * * Stand up! * * Stand up... * * Eyes on you. * ( song ends ) GORDO: Going somewhere, Kate? KATE: ( nervous giggle ) Just... getting a little... a little air. GORDO: Tell it to the camera, sunshine. KATE: ( nervous chuckle ) ( applause continues in auditorium ) ANNOUNCER: First place goes to Lizzie McGuire! JO: Hey! We're so proud of you. SAM: Our little champion. Oh, you were great, sweetie. LIZZIE: Thank you. SAM: Really great. Look at your medal. LIZZIE: That-that's just great but can I be honest with you guys? SAM: Sure. JO: Always. LIZZIE: Okay. Well, I totally appreciate how supportive you guys... SAM: Lizzie, you don't have to thank us. JO: We've loved every minute of it, honey. SAM: You were so great. LIZZIE: I wasn't finished. SAM / JO: Oh. LIZZIE No, really, you guys have been awesome but that time when the hoop was missing was the happiest time of my life. JO: I don't understand. SAM: Yeah. LIZZIE: I hate rhythmic gymnastics. JO: Oh, but you're so good at it! SAM: Yeah. LIZZIE: Well, that's just about the only part that I do like. But if I don't like it why waste my time doing it? I'd rather work extra hard at something I do love even if it takes a little longer. Is that okay? SAM: Of course it's okay. JO: Honey, whatever you decide to do your dad and I are going to be there cheering for you. LIZZIE: Even if it's dogsledding across Alaska? SAM: You know, I think that we'll have to watch on the big-screen TV. LIZZIE ( laughs ) LIZZIE: You guys really saved my butt. GORDO: We did. We know. MIRANDA: You'll pay us back somehow. LIZZIE: Hey, whatever happened to "that's what friends are for?" MIRANDA: Please, that is so last millennium. LIZZIE: ( laughs ) Oh, so, Gordo do we finally get to see your masterpiece? GORDO: Actually, it turned out a little differently than I'd planned. MIRANDA: Do you realize what this means? LIZZIE: Yeah. Solid proof that Kate Saunders is actually jealous of me. TOON LIZZIE: Smart, but destined to be lonely and dateless. Too skinny and destined for a double bunionectomy. Destined to be... gazillionaires. Call me! As for my destiny... well, let's just say it doesn't involve ribbons and hoops. I'm thinking more along the lines of... first woman president... space explorer... Mrs. Matt Damon... Whatever it is, I'll keep you posted. -------------- BLOOPER REEL -------------- MIRANDA: Ugh! LIZZIE: What's the one person be better than you at one thing? Aah! Okay, I'm, I'm going to get this. MIRANDA And it is something you're better at than Kate. LIZZIE / MIRANDA: ( giggling ) MIRANDA: I'm sorry. TOON LIZZIE: Destined to be... gazillionaires. MATT: She's the dork champion of the world. ( crowd laughing )