长春版 小学语文四年级下册作文讲评课教案

长春版 语文四下册作文讲评课教案 长春版小学语文四年级下册:作文讲评课教案 《写熟悉的人的一件事》作文讲评 教学目的: 1、使学生通过作文讲评，学会选取典型事例，来表现熟悉的人的某方面品质。 2、学会运用修改符号来修改作文的方法，能对他人的作文进行正确的点评。 教学重点:学习作文点评的方法。 教学难点:学习围绕要求进行作文点评。 教学过程: (一)词语比赛，导入新课: 1、导言: 师:同学们，听说课下你们积累了很多“人”字开头的成语，现在咱们来进行一场词语比赛，看看哪个小组说得最好,(小组内展示词语) 师:我们知道美玉是琢出来的，好文章是改出来的。那上节课我们写了一篇写人的文章。你有信心把自己的习作初稿修改得更完美些吗,这节课，我们将对这篇文章进行讲评。 2、复习作文要求: (1)指名说出本次作文要求:写人，要抓住这个人某一方面的特点来写，比如学习上刻苦认真、勤奋努力;生活上艰苦朴素、勤俭节约;工作上兢兢业业、一丝不苟;待人上尊老爱幼、助人为乐。具体的要通过一件事，来表现这个人某一方面的品格。写好后多读几遍，并认真修改。 (2)提问:这次作文向我们提了几点要求，哪一点最重要, (共三点要求:1、写一个你熟悉的或是尊重的人;2、要通过一件具体的事，抓住人物的特点，来反映他某一方面的优秀品质。3、写好后多读几遍，并认真修改。) (二)榜上有名 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 在这次的习作中，有一批同学的习作是完成的比较好的，比如:李佳丁泳方 杜昊龙 也有些同学的作文进步很大，比如:丁路路 王可欣闫志等，让我们为这些榜上有名的同学鼓掌。 (三)作文欣赏 1、欣赏精彩片断 师:和每次作文一样，虽然佳作不是每个同学都有，但每个同学的习作中或多或少都会有一些精彩之笔，下面请大家欣赏一些同学作文中的精彩片断。你最想先听谁的作文呢, 生:杜昊龙的 师:那就请杜昊龙把自己的文章念出来吧，其他同学认真倾听，找出文中哪些地方写的好,还有什么建议, 例文:爱我的妈妈 生活中的爱有许多:父爱，爷爷的爱，外公的爱，姨母的爱，同学之间的关爱、友爱……但令我印象最深的还是母爱。 那是今年的五一节的前夕的事。星期五上午上第一节课时我觉得肚子有些隐隐作痛，我没多大在意。第三节课开展活动时肚子痛非但没有止住，还带着虚汗变本加厉地卷土重来。课上了一大半，我终于忍不住了，“哇”地一声吐了。老师见了，就让我打电话给家长，让家长来接我。下课了，外婆过来把我接走了。快到家时，我又吐了。这样接连吐了几次，令我十分不舒服。 中午，妈妈下班回来，见我躺在床上，脸色苍白，给我量了量体温，发现我发高烧了，便冲了一包药，取了一颗消炎药让我服下，随后给我盖好被子，待我睡着后才去上班。晚上，她督促我吃完药，又帮我掖好被子，让我睡觉。 就这样，几天过去之后，我发现妈妈这几天一直很疲劳，脸色很黄。我问她怎么了，她不回答，只是一笑了之。 有一天夜里，我起来上厕所时竟惊讶地发现妈妈竟然在我床边的椅子上睡着～我顿时明白了妈妈为什么那么累，原来她一直在床边守着我生怕我出一点意外。这是多么崇高的母爱啊～我的心里很不是滋味，就像打碎了五味瓶，酸甜苦辣咸样样都有。这时，妈妈醒了，她见我愣在那里，便急忙让我上床，给我盖好被子，并连field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 连说:“小心着凉啊～”随即，又坐在了椅子上……此时，我的心里十分难受，两颗泪珠落了下来。 妈妈，我爱你～ 2、学生听完后随机说说这些片断好在哪里。 师:还有什么建议,或者说你认为哪里写的还不够好, 生:没有外貌描写，如果加上妈妈的外貌会更好。 师:希望这位同学及时进行修改。 (四)请你评改 1、出示例文进行修改。 2、小组为单位按要求点评例文。找出除了加入外貌描写，还有其他修改的地方吗, 教师提醒学生注意: ?叙事是否具体，是否符合中心需要; ?句子是否完整、连贯、通顺; ?字是否写的正确; ?标点用的是否恰当。 3、每小组选派代表指出优缺点并提出修改意见。 (五)佳作亮相 1、先小组上讲台读自己小组修改好的作文片断或佳作 2、然后分组交流自评，畅谈习作收获，分享习作成功的乐趣。 (六)创造发表条件，激发学生的成就动机。 将优秀习作或修改后有明显进步的习作，在班内传阅。 (七)总结: 美玉是琢出来的，好文章是改出来的，老师发现经过我们的共同努力，你们的文章已经比原来更精彩了，那就请同学们赶紧把你的文章誊写出来，在班内传阅吧。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 《难忘的一件事》作文评改课 教学目标: 1、通过这次作文讲评，使学生进一步了解好作文的是什么，并会运用标准对照衡量自己的作文和他人的作文。 2、使学生进一步认识到修改作文的重要性。 3、通过评改，欣赏同学们文章中的优点，激发学生写作的热情。 重点:会运用标准对照衡量自己的作文和他人的作文。 难点:运用修改作文的具体方法修改自己的习作，评议他人的作文。 教学过程: 一、总结习作 1、师:今天我们来上一节作文讲评课。上课之前先来看下这句谚语: 千金难买回头看，文章不厌反复改。只要肯用心，一字值千金。 谈谈自己的体会。 2、再次明确习作要求:本次习作是一次命题作文，题目是难忘的一件事，还记得本次的习作要求么,谁来说一说,(学生回答并相机板书) 3、总结感受 在阅读了同学们的作文后，老师非常感动、也很高兴，从大家的文章中，我感到经过小学将近六年的学习，同学们都积淀了自己的知识，并能用心感悟生活。这节课，我们将针对同学们的习作进行讲评。 二、佳作欣赏 1、出示佳作，集体欣赏 这篇作文是本次作文中优秀习作之一，想听么,用心听同学读，在这篇文章中你最欣赏那一部分,觉得那个地方很好,同样，也可以提出自己的建议。 2、出示片断，讨论修改 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 这是咱班另一位同学的习作，它记述了难忘的学滑旱冰的经历，下面我们一起来看一看这篇习作，你觉得这篇作文怎么样，谁来评价一下, 3、集体修改。 三、精益求精 1、明确修改标准 那么针对本次习作，你觉得应该从哪方面来修改, 明确修改标准: (1)字词句:错别字、用词得当、语句通顺、是否存在病句。 (2)内容:事件过程叙述清楚，完整，将感悟写清楚。 (3)表达:能够从心里、动作、神态、语言等方面表现当时自己内心的真实感受。 3、小组合作修改 下面就依据这些标准，针对自己的作文进行修改，也可以向自己的组员求助。 4、展示修改的内容 老师感受到大家都很认真地修改自己的作文，你觉得自己哪一处修改得很好，和大家一起分享如何,你在哪些地方做了修改, 生交流 四、总结讲评 在这次习作中，同学们把自己难忘的一件事记录下来，作为永久的纪念，希望同学们能继续用自己的笔描写多彩难忘的生活。 把古诗改写成记叙文 教学要求: 1、熟练背诵古诗《饮湖上初晴后雨》，能结合自己的生活体验，进一步说出对这首诗所描绘的意境及作者思想感情的理解与感受。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 2、根据古诗《饮湖上初晴后雨》的内容展开丰富想象，按要求改写成一篇记叙文。 3、激发学生读古诗、学古诗的兴趣，提高对古诗的赏析能力，养成爱观察、勤动笔的良好习惯。 教学重点、难点: 既要忠实原诗的内容，又要展开丰富的想象，把《饮湖上初晴后雨》这首诗的意境及诗人所要表达的情感用生动形象的语言表达出来。 一、回忆作文要求。 1、熟练背诵古诗《饮湖上初晴后雨》，能结合自己的生活体验，进一步说出对这首诗所描绘的意境及作者思想感情的理解与感受。 2、根据古诗《饮湖上初晴后雨》的内容展开丰富想象，按要求改写成一篇记叙文。 3、激发学生读古诗、学古诗的兴趣，提高对古诗的赏析能力，养成爱观察、勤动笔的良好习惯。 二、总结作文中的优缺点。 此次作文整体情况较好: 1、大多数学生能能结合自己的生活体验，写出古诗所描绘的意境及作者思想感情。 2、多数学生能把诗里的景物写具体，语言流畅、优美。 3、能做到有中心，有条理，语句通顺。 4、学生的作文书写认真，整洁。 个别问题: 1、不能写出古诗所描绘的意境，叙述没有条理。 2、个别同学重点不够突出，没把诗里的景物写具体。 3、个别学生书写潦草。 三、针对作文中出现的问题，进行修改。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 四、选优秀作文进行范读。 第二课时 一、学生修改自己的习作。 二、再读一些优秀的改写古诗的文章，共同欣赏。 1、共同讨论作文的有点，说说你今后如何做。 2、指出作文的不足之处，共同修改。 3、和自己的作文对照，谈谈如何写好自己的作文。 森林探险想象习作讲评课教案设计 教学目的: 1. 培养训练学生自己评改习作的技能，提高作文能力。 2. 通过讲评实践，训练学生科学的想象思维，强化自觉自发意识，提高想象能 力。 教学重点: 借助学习、实践，训练学生想象思维，强化其想象意识，提高想象能力。 教具准备: 投影(习作要求，一篇范文，两篇例文，作业) 教学时间: 一课时 教学教程: 一、导入新课，明确学习任务。 1. 板书课题:想象习作讲评。 2. 出示投影片一，显示相次想象习作训练的要求。 3. 谈话，进一步明确学习任务。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 今天这节课，我们就是要对同学们的这次想象习作进行讲评。不过，和以往的作文讲评课不同，这堂课我们主要是让同学们自己来评议，自己来推敲，自己来修改。 二、学生优秀作品展示 1、谈话 同学们的习作，老师昨晚已经仔细地拜读过。俗话说的好:不看不知道，一看吓一跳。老师惊喜地发现，我们很多同学的想象力很是丰富，不仅想像的内容具有一定的条理，而且想象也非常合理。尤其像张子戌杜佳宇 菜雨欣这些同学，他们的习作很是成功。此处，还有一些同学，也应该表扬，像郑宇涵 郭心月等等，他们的习作水平也有了很大的提高。这些同学取得了可喜的成绩，难道大家就不该表示表示,(作鼓掌状) 下面，老师就请一位同学上来，把自己的优秀作品读给大家听一听，让大家先听为快，好好欣赏一番，大家说好吗,不过，老师还有个建议:听完朗读，如果你们认为该同学的习作确实是好，就像刚才那样，多给点鼓励的掌声。大家同意吗, 2、请学生朗读自己的优秀作品。(出示小黑板) 3、启发谈话:大家感觉这篇文章写得怎么样,那么好在哪里呢,下面，就请前后两排的几名同学聚在一起讨论讨论，想想，这篇文章究竟好在什么地方, 4、小组讨论评议，教师巡回指导。 5、学生评议，教师相机引导作结。 6、教师总结学生的语文肯定正确的看法，并引导作者本人介绍创作的体会。 大家评议的非常好，不仅说出了自己的见解，而且指出了这篇文章的几点可贵之处，如:想象内容具体，想象有一定的条理，想象比较合理等等。大家想想，我们平常想象作文时，是不是也应该具备这几点要素呢,(在小黑板标示) 7、小结:看来，一篇文章要想给人亲切自然的感觉，没有真情实感还真不行。 三、出示例文，启发谈话，引导评价。 1、谈话:老师这里还有两篇习作，大家想听听吗, 2、请两名学生朗读例文。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 3、启发谈话，引导学生评议。 你们觉得这两篇习作写得怎样,好,不好,有些地方好,有些地方不好,这可把老师搞糊涂了。干脆这样，老师再给同学们一点时间，你们前后两排的同学再互相讨论讨论，评议一下，它究竟是好是坏，好在哪里，不好又在什么地方,请找出你们各自确凿的证据。 4、学生分小组讨论评议，教师巡视指导。 5、学生评议，教师相机引导作结。 四、学生修改例文,及成果展示 1、启发谈话，引导学生修改例文。 通过同学们的评议，我们发觉这两篇习作既有一些可贵之处，也有一些不足的地方。常言说的好:人贵在知错能改。我们习作，是不是也应该这样呢,现在就请同学们拿起你手中的笔，选择其中你感兴趣的片断，进行修改。 2、学生自改。教师巡视，相机指导。 3、学生修改成果展示，集体评议。 4、小结。 这两篇例文的评议，修改就暂且到此结束吧。当然，它们还可能有其他可贵之处，以及不足的地方。课下有时间，我们再互相交流交流，好吗, 五、同学之间互评互改，及成果展示。 1、启发谈话，引导学生互评互议。 下面，老师再给每位同学一次锻炼的机会，请同位子上的同学相互交换一下你们的作品，先读一读，然后找出你最感兴趣的片断，互相评一评，改一改。有可能的话，也可以互相交流一下感受与体会。 2、学生互评互改，交流感受，教师巡视指导。 3、学生互评互改成果展示，教师相机引导总结。 六、启发、引导学生谈感受、体会。 1、谈话，启发引导学生谈体会、感受。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 通过这节课的学习和实践，老师相信大家肯定有许多的话想说，有谁愿意站起来说说吗,感受、体会、启迪或是看法什么的，只要是自己的见解，都可以。 2、学生畅谈感受、体会，教师相机引导作结。 七、课堂小结 1、启发谈话:刚才，许多同学都谈了自己的切身体会和感受，大家想听听老师的感受吗, 2、老师谈感受，重点突出修改和想象对于写作的重要性。 我的感受是:一、文章是改出来的。怎样改，概括起来，不外乎三个字，那就是:读、评、改。不过，这并不是一个简单的一次性的过程，而是一个不断重复、循序渐进的过程。(相机板书)二、如果把一篇文章比作一只鸟儿，“想象”就该是它的翅膀。想象有多大的天地，想象作文便有多大的天地。大胆、完整、合理的想象，对于写好一篇习作来说，是必要的，而且也是极其重要的。 3、提出希望:望同学们在日后的学习和中仔细体会老师的这两点感受。持之以恒必有益。相信大家长期坚持下去，一定会收益匪浅。 我们可以试想一下，如果人们一直以来只是满足现状的话，今天的一切事物，会发生在我们的身边吗,这是不容置否的。 人类因探险而富强，生活因探险而美丽。拥有一份勇于探险的精神，是很重要的。世界需要探险，生活需要探险，发展需要探险，只有探险才有创新 (相机板书) 八、作业 请每位同学把自己的习作评一评，改一改。 附:板书设计 想象习作讲评 文章是改出来的 想象是习作的翅膀 读 评 改 大胆 合理 完整 习作讲评课 ——生活中的见闻 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 这是一篇习作训练，教材前面一段话先介绍什么是见闻及见闻的场所;接着讲这次作文的要求，从许多所见所闻中选一件写一话;最后提出这次作文的两点具体要求，一要按事情的发展顺序写，二要写清楚见闻的主要内容。 这是一次指导学生写见闻，因此，首先要指导学生读懂教材，了解什么是见闻，哪些是新鲜事，引导学生通过回忆，选好作文的材料;其次，要结合三级作文训练要求，把重点放在指导学生连句成段的方法上，按事情发展的顺序来组织材料;再次，在教学呆结合教学内容有机地向学生进行热爱家乡，热爱祖国等思想教育，进行在日常生活中留心观察周围事物的良好学习习惯教育。 教学目标 1、懂得什么叫“见闻”，哪些是新鲜事。 2、指导学生初步学会留心观察周围事物的习惯。 3、初步培养学生留心观察周围事物的习惯。 4、结合习作训练，有机地向学生进行热爱祖国、热爱家乡，赞扬社会主义新人、新事、新风尚，讴歌改革开放所带来的巨大成就等思想教育。 讲评过程: 重温要求。 请同学们回顾一下，这次小练笔有哪些要求,(要有一定顺序、抓特点写具体、所思所悟) 【习作讲评一定要有的放矢，紧紧围绕习作教学的目标来进行讲评。教师在这里把课内习作和课外实践结合起来，对我们来说，是一种很好的启迪。】 二、佳作亮相 (一)欣赏第一篇作文 1、下面我们一起来欣赏一篇作文,请同学们自由读,你觉得这篇作文好吗,好在哪儿,(出示作文) (1)学生自由读。 (2)交流:说说好在哪儿, 2、颁发作文明星奖。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 3、请获奖学生谈谈他的成功经验。 (二)欣赏第二篇作文 1、指名读作文，请大家认真倾听，看看这篇作文又有什么值得你学习的,可以把给你印象深刻的内容深深地记在脑中。 2、交流。 3、颁发“作文新星”奖。 【两篇例文的赏析过程中，老师尊重学生的主体感受，突出了教学的重点。同时，在交流的过程中，注意倾听，善于归纳，读写结合，培养了学生的习作表达能力。】 三、美文赏读 1、出示作文写得好的同学名单，给予表扬。 2、小组交流推荐优秀片段。 四、点石成金 1、师:虽说同学们都非常用心，但作文里还存在一些小缺点，现在我们一起来看一篇作文。(出示相关例文) 2、请同学们自由读，说说这篇文章的优点有哪些,哪儿还需要改一改, 3、学生交流。 4、学生拿出练习纸修改。 5、指名评改。 【把讲评和学生修改作文结合起来，拓展了习作讲评的功能，有利于学生习作综合能力的提高】 五、自改、展示 师:同学们，我们平时一定要重视对作文的修改，所谓“文章不厌百回改”“好文章是改出来的”(板书:文成于改)勤于修改，我们的写作兴趣会在修改中得到激发，写作水平也会在修改中得到提高。希望大家养成修改的好习惯。现在就请同学们看着自己的作文，运用我们刚才学到的方法，找出自己文章中类似的句子，针对不够具体，没有真情实感，作出修改。 field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 生:自改。师:谁来把自己修改的句子展示展示，和大家分享你的修改成果。 生:上台展示。(师点拨) (生展示至下课铃响) 结语:下课后，请同学们继续修改。你还可以把文章读给你的伙伴儿听听，让 他给你提点意见。写作就是这样，不仅要认真写，还要认真改，长期坚持下去，你 的作文会越写越好的。 五、课堂总结 1、交流收获:通过这堂课的学习，你有什么收获呢, 2、请学生再次修改自己的作文。 家乡的景物“作文讲评”教学设计 教学目标: 1、抓住家乡的一处景物的进行描写，能够按照一定的顺序,写出景物的特点,并 展开丰富的想象. 2、使学生如何通过细致的观察，采用多种修辞方法丰富文章的内容。 3、培养学生热爱家乡的情感，激发学生的习作兴趣。 教学重点、难点:按照一定顺序，表现景物的特点。 教学准备:学生习作两篇 一、复习导入: 1、同学们回顾一下本单元习作是要写什么, 2、我们本次习作有哪些要求: (1)按一定的顺序写 (2)写出景物的特点 (3)展开丰富的想象 (4)表达自己对家乡的热爱 二、出示范文(一) field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between 1、同学们，老师看到一篇文章就是写景的，写得很好，你们想看一看吗,请小组长拿出(一)，大家来试着读一下，看看哪一处让你印象最深, 小组内交流，汇报 2、看一看这篇文章是按照本单元写作要求来写的吗,师随时归纳总结(完善板书): (1)上学期已经学过运用时间推移(春夏秋冬)，本范文是按什么顺序去写的, (2)本文“我看见船头像刀一样把江面劈开，最后它像一团火焰似的跑出了我的眼界。” “我突然想起白居易的一句诗:一道残阳扑水中，半江瑟瑟半江红。”采用多种修辞方法来进行描写，使文章更加生动。 (3)想象---抒发感情 3、大家觉得这篇文章写得怎么样,你知道是谁写的吗,(调动了学生的积极性)请他来给大家读一读好不好, 三、还有一篇，想看吗,不过刚才同学们在说时没有按照一定的顺序去评，老师也是在将你们说的无序变成了有序(请看黑板)，组长出示范文(二)下面请同学们再品读一下，按有序加以评论，大家能做到吗, 师总结:通过刚才的欣赏，同学们已经很准确的将文章得有条有理，也知道了写景习作的思路，老师看到了你们的进步，为你们感到高兴～ 四、其实你们也有一些好词佳句，老师已经圈出来了，谁愿意读给大家听,其他同学要认真倾听，看看有没有值得你可借鉴的地方～ 五、现在同学们看看自己的文章，首先观察你的文章是写景的吗,四人小组讨论，看一看谁的文章能够按照习作要求很快地进行修改，成为一篇更加优秀的文章。(互评)小组汇报。 六、展示学生作品，交代习作修改前后的变化所在，及修改原因～ 七、教师总结:本节课你学到了什么, field is downwind, brooding House separate from the breeding shed, and ... Building chicken farms must also consider the construction of chicken manure treatment facilities such as septic tanks, methane-generating pit, do not let the chicken manure directly. Five to do a disease prevention and control, do not cut corners. Built into the chicken in chicken farm, will be required to do a variety of vaccine injections and disinfection in chicken farm, do not hold the chance, and do scientific farming. Reasonable problems in building a chicken coop hen house layout, can provide a good environment for chicken, making its full productive potential, so other than in understanding the physiological characteristics of the chicken itself, and must be properly planned and constructed sheds. A chicken layout considerations 1. Sites to choose away from populated areas, traffic convenient, away from the road 2. Gaozao terrain, a lot of sunshine. Winter sun as possible, summer wind, and not after the rain water. Larger, leaving room for development 3. Abundant water resources pollution-free, easy to access, sufficient power is guaranteed 4. Building structure, the economy, saving money, and saving energy, it is facing in accordance with local environmental and physiological condition, lighting is good, easy to ventilation, easy to operate, so conducive to cooling in the summer, to insulation in winter cold 5. Layout of premises should be reasonable, do distinguish between