音乐剧《猫》Cats 剧本
Cats
- Overture
- Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark? Are you cock of the wall when you're walking alone?
Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet? Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air? Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street? Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer?
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant? Familiar with candle, with book and with bell? Were you Whittington's friend? The Pied Piper's assistant? Have you been an alumnus of heaven and hell?
Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a lynx? Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat? Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx? If you were, and you are, you're a Jellicle cat
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up the wall, we can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Can you sing at the same time in more than one key
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss And can you (as cats do) begin with a C That always triumphantly brings down the house?
Jellicle cats are queen of the nights Singing at astronomical heights Handling pieces from the messiah Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity Round the cathedral rang "Vivat!" Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true To others who do-what
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants Jellicles old and Jellicles new Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats Oratorical cats, delphioracle cats Skeptical cats, dispeptical cats Romantical cats, pedantical cats Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
- The Naming of Cats
Solo:
There's a man over there with a look of surprise As much as to say well now, how about that?
Munkustrap:
Do I actually see with my own very eyes A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat? What's a Jellicle cat?
All:
What's a Jellicle cat?
All:
The naming of cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your holiday games You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I tell you a cat must have three different names
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James, Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-- All of them sensible, everyday names
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-- But all of them sensible, everyday names
But I tell you a cat needs a name that is particular A name that's peculiar, and more dignified Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-- Names that never belong to more than one cat
But above and beyond there's still one name left over And that is the name that you never will guess The name that no human research can discover But the at himself knows, and will never confess
When you notice a cat in profound meditation The reason, I tell you, is always the same His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought, of his name
His ineffable, effable, effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular name
Name, name, name, name, name, name
- The Invitation to the Jellicle Ball Mistoffelees:
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
All:
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Munkustrap:
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice And the Jellicle Leader will soon appear And make what is known as the Jellicle Choice
When Old Deuteronomy just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life
For waiting up there is the Heaviside Layer With wonders one Jellicle only will see
Jellicles ask because Jellices dare
Who will it be?
-The Old Gumbie Cat
Munkustrap:
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots Her coat is of the tabby kind with tiger stripes and leopard spots
All day she sits beneath the stairs or on the steps or on the mat
She sits and sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
Jellylorum, Bombalurina, Demeter:
But
When the day's hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun And when all the family's in bed and asleep She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice Their behavior's not good and their manners not nice And when she has got them lined up on the matting She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting
Munkustrap:
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots The curtain cord she likes to wind and tie it into sailor knots She sits upon the windowsill, or anything that's smooth and flat
She sits and sits and sits and sits and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
Jellylorum, Bombalurina, Demeter:
But
When the day's hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun She thinks that the cockroaches need employment To protect them from idle and wanton destroyment
So she's formed from that lot of disorderly louts A troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do And she's even created a Beetles Tattoo!
All:
For she's a jolly good fellow!
Jennyanydots:
Thank you my dears
- The Rum Tum Tugger
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat If you put me in a flat then I'd rather have a house If you set me on a mouse then I'd only want a rat If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to shout it For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in, then I want to go out I'm always on the wrong side of every door As soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about I like to lie in the bureau drawer
And I make such a fuss if I can't get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for you to doubt it For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways are a matter of habit If you offer me fish then I always want a feast When there isn't any fish then I won't eat rabbit If you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer But I only like what I find for myself
So you'll catch me in it right up to my ears If you put it away on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger
Doesn't care for a cuddle
But I'll leap in your lap in the middle of your sewing For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything abou-----t it!
- Grizabella
Grizabella:
Remark the cat who hesitates towards you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
Demeter:
She haunted many a low resort near the grimy road of Tottenham Court
She flitted about the no man's land
From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand" And the postman sighed as he scratched his head "You'd really had thought she ought to be dead" And who would ever suppose that that was Grizabella the Glamour Cat
Bombalurina:
Grizabella the Glamour Cat, Grizabella the Glamour Cat
- Bustopher Jones
JennyAnyDots, Bombalurina, Jellylorum:
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones
In fact, he's remarkably fat
He doesn't haunt pubs, he has eight or nine clubs For he's the St. James's Street Cat
He's the cat we all greet as he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black
No common-place mousers have such well cut trousers Or such an impeccable back
In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is The name of this brummel of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to By Bustopher Jones in white spats
In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is The name of this brummel of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to By Bustopher Jones in white spats
Bustopher Jones:
My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools
For a similar reason when game is in season I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's
I am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen Which is famous for winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison I give my Benison To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's not a moment too soon To drop in for a drink at the Drones
When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry At the Siamese or at the Glutton
When I look full of gloom then I've lunched at the Tomb On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton
Jellylorum:
In the whole of St. James's is the smartest of names Is the name of this brummel of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to By Bustopher Jones in white, Bustopher Jones in white Bustopher Jones in white spats
So much in this way passes Bustopher's day At one club or another he's found
It can be no surprise that under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
He's a twenty-five pounder or I am a bounder
And he's putting on weight everyday
But I'm so well preserved because I've observed
All my life a routine, and I'd say
I am still in the prime, I shall last out my time
That's the word from the stoutest of cats
It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white, Bustopher Jones wears white Bustopher Jones wears white spats
- Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
Demeter:
Macavity!
Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer/Mistoffelees:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
They/We had an extensive reputation, they/we made their home in Victoria Grove That was merely their/our center of operation for they/we were incurably given to rove
If the area window was found ajar and the basement looked like a field of war If a tile or two came loose on the roof which presently ceased to be waterproof If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chest
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls
Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat!"
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of the gab
They were highly efficient cat burglars as well and remarkably smart at a smash and grab They made their home in Victoria Grove, they had no regular occupation They were plausible fellows who liked to engage a friendly policeman in conversation
When the family assembled for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner on
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow The joint has gone from the oven like that!"
And the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way of working together And some of the time you would say it was luck and some of the time you would say it was weather
They'd/We go through the house like a hurricane and no sober person would take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer? Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
And when you heard a dining room smash or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat? It was Mungoherrie and Rumpleteazer and there's nothing at all to be done about that!"
- Old Deuteronomy
Solo:
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
All:
Well of all things can it be really
Yes, No, ho, hi, oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Munkustrap:
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession
Rum Tum Tugger:
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine lives
And more I am tempted to say ninety-nine
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him in his decline
Munkustrap:
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks
Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger:
Well of all things can it be really Yes, no, ho, hi, oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
All:
Well of all things can it be really Yes, no, ho, hi, oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really Yes, no, ho, hi, oh my eye!
My mind may be wandering but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well of all things can it be really Yes, no, ho, hi, oh my eye!
Old Deuteronomy:
My legs may be tottery I must go slow And be careful of Old Deuteronomy
- Great Rumpus Cat
Munkustrap:
Of the awful battle
of the pekes and the pollicles
Together with some account
Of the participation of the pugs and the poms And the intervention of the all great Rumpus Cat!!!
The pekes and the pollicles everyone knows Are a proud and implacable passionate foes It is always the same where ever one goes And the Pugs and the Poms although most people say That they did not like fighting will once in a way Show every symptom of wanting to join in the fray And they
All:
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park
Now on the occassion of which I shall speak Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week And that’s a long time for a Pol or a Peke
The big police dog was away from his beat I don’t know the reason but some people think He slipped into the *Wellington’s Arms for a drink
And no one at all was about on the street When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet They did not advance or exactly retreat But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet
And they started to
All:
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park Now the Peke although people may say what they please Is no british dog but Heathen Chinese And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar Some came to the window, some came to the door And together they started to grumble and wheeze In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese But a terrible din is what Pollicles like For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke
Male Cats:
There are dogs out of every nation the Irish, the Welsh and the Dane:
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian, and even from China and Spain.
The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian
And the Mastiff who walks on a chain.
Munkustrap:
And to those that are frisky and frolical, Let my meaning be perfectly plain:
Male Cats:
That my name it is little Tom Pollicle, and you'd better not do it again!"
Munkustrap:
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters And every dog-jack of them notable fighters And so they stepped out with their pipers in order Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border" And the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof But some from the balcony some from the roof Joined into the din with a
All:
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park
All:
Huffery snuffery huffery snuff!
Munkustrap:
Until you could hear them all over the park
All:
BARK BARK BARK BARK
Munkustrap:
NO!!!!
(Silence)
When these bold hereos together assembled The traffic all stopped
And the Underground trembled
And some of the neightbors were so much afraid That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade When suddenly up from a small basement flat Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!!!! His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing And when he looked out through the bars of the area You never saw anything fiercer.......Or hairier And what with a glare of his eyes and his yawning The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap
And every last one of them scattered like sheep!
And when the Police dog returned to his beat There wasn’t a single one left on the street!
All:
All hail and all bow to the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!
- The Jellicle Ball
Demeter:
Macvity!
Old Deuteronomy:
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all The Jellicle Moon is shining bright Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Solo:
Jellicle cats are black and white Jellicle cats are rather small
Jellicle cats are merry and bright And pleasant to hear when we caterwaul
Jellicle cats have cheerful faces Jellicle cats have bright black eyes We like to practice our airs and graces And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise
Jellicle cats develop slowly
Jellicle cats are not too big
Jellicle cats are roly poly
We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig Until the Jellicle Moon appears We make our toilette and take our repose Jellicles wash behind their ears Jellicles dry between their toes
Jellicle cats are white and black Jellicle cats are of moderate size Jellicles jump like a jumping jack Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes
We're quiet enough in the morning hours We're quiet enough in the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon
Jellicle cats are black and white
Jellicle cats (as we said) are small If it happens to be a stormy night
We will pracitce a caper or two in the hall
If it happens the sun is shining bright You would say we had nothing to do at all We are resting and saving ourselves to be right For the Jellicle Moon and the Jellicle Ball
All:
Jellicle cats come out tonight
Jellicle cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
- Grizabella: The Glamour Cat
Jellylorum:
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand
Jemima:
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin
Grizabella:
Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
Every street lamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters And soon it will be morning
Memory. All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again
- The Moments of Happiness
Old Deuteronomy:
The moments of happiness
We had the experience but missed the meaning And approach to the meaning restores the experience In a different form beyond any meaning we can assign to happiness
The past experience revived in the meaning Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting something that is probably quite ineffable
Jemima:
Moonlight. Turn your face to the moonlight Let your memory lead you
Open up enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is Then a new life will begin
- Gus: The Theatre Cat
Jellylorum:
Gus is the cat at the theatre door
His name as I ought to have told you before Is really Asparagus, and that's such a fuss to pronounce That we usually call him just Gus
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime Though his name was quite famous, he says, in his time And whenever he joins his friends at their club (Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub) He loves to regale them, if someone else pays With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days For he once was a star of the highest degree He has acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree And he likes to relate his success on the halls Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls But his greatest creation as he loves to tell Is Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
Gus:
I have played in my time every possible part And I used to know seventy speeches by heart I'd extemporize backchat, I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag I knew how to act with my back and my tail With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts Whether I took the lead, or in character parts I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell In the pantomime season I never fell flat And I once understudied Dick Whittington's cat But my greatest creation, as history will tell Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
Jellylorum:
Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat When some actor suggested the need for a cat
Gus:
And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained As we did in the days when Victoria reigned They never get drilled in a regular troupe And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
Jellylorum:
And he says as he scratches himself with his claws Well the theatre is certainly not what it was These modern productions are all very well But there's nothing to equal, from what I hear tell That moment of mystery when I made history As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell
Gus:
I once crossed the stage on a telephone wire To rescue a child when a house was on fire And I think that I still can much better than most Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost And I once played Growltiger
Could do it again, could do it again
Could do it again
- Growltiger's Last Stand
Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge In fact he was the roughest cat to ever roam at large
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims Rejoicing in his title of The Terror of the Thames
His manners and appearance did not calculate to please His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye
The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name They would fortify the henhouse, lock up the silly goose When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose!
Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage Woe to the bristly bandicoot, that lurked on foreign ships And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips
But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed To cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear
Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side
In the forepeak of the vessel Growltiger stood alone Concentrating my attention on the lady Griddlebone And my raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks
Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes
And closer still and closer the sampans circled round And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives As the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives
In una tepida notte d'estate, allorche la natura
Era nel pieno fulgore, e la resca rugiada
Splendeva al chiar di luna sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il galeone ancorato
Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea del naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte che c'e dunque di male
Se in tnata poesia anche il pirata divento sentimentale? Oscillare in silenzio nel vento profumato
Dalla marea do naviglio serenamente cullato
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
In quella tepida notte
Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard Abandoning their sampans, their pullaway, their junks They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks
Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared She probably escaped with ease, I'm sure she was not drowned But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround
The ruthless foe pressed forward in stubborn rank on rank Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop
Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the strand Rats were roasted whole at Brentford and Victoria Dock And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok!
These modern productions are all very well
But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell That moment of mystery when I made history...
- Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat
All:
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat the cat of the railway train
There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty-nine When the night mail's ready to depart
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble has he gone to hunt the thimble
We must find him or the train can't start"
Skimbleshanks:
All the guards and all the porters and the station master's daughters Would be searching high and low
Saying "Skimble where is Skimble for unless he's very nimble Then the night mail just can't go."
At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue
And the passengers all frantic to a man
That's when I would appear and I'd saunter to the rear I'd been busy in the luggage van!
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went "all clear"
They'd be off at last for the northern part of the northern hemisphere!
All:
Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat the cat of the railway train Skimbleshanks:
You might say that by and large it was me who was in charge Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards I would supervise them all more or less
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces Of the travellers in the first and the third
He established control by a regular patrol
and he'd know at once if anything occurred.
And he'd watch you without winking and he saw what you were thinking And it's certain that he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot so that folks were very quiet When Skimble was about and on the move
You could play no pranks with Skimbleshanks
He's a cat that couldn't be ignored
So nothing went wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
It was very pleasant when they'd found their little den With their name written up on the door
And the berth was very neat with a newly folded sheet And not a speck of dust upon the floor
There was every sort of light you could make it dark or bright And a button you could turn to make a breeze
And a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in And a crank to shut the window should you sneeze Then the guard looked in politely and would ask you very brightly
Would you like your morning tea weak or strong? But I was right behind him and was ready to remind him For Skimble won't let anything go wrong
All:
When they crept into their cosy berth and pulled up the counterpane They all could reflect that it was very nice
To know that they wouldn't be bothered by mice
They can leave all that to the railway cat
The cat of the railway train
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat the cat of the railway train
Skimbleshanks:
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of scotch while I was keeping on the watch Only stopping here and there to catch a flea
They were fast asleep at Crewe
And so they never knew that I was walking up and down the station They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle Where I met the station master with elation
They might see me at Dumfries if I summoned the police If there was anything they ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate there they did not have to wait For Skimbleshanks would help them to get out
All:
And he gives a wave of his long brown tail
Which says "I'll see you again"
You will meet without fail on the midnight mail The Cat of the Railway Train
You will meet without fail on the midnight mail The Cat of the Railway Train
- Macavity: The Mystery Cat
Demeter:
Macavity!
Macavity's a mystery cat: He's called the Hidden Paw For he's a master criminal who can defy the law He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare And when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!
Bombalutina:
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in His brow is deeply lined in thought, his head is highly domed His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He is a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
Demeter, Bombalutina:
He's outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's And when the larder's looted or the jewel cases rifled Or when the milk is missing or another Peke's been stifled Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there!
and they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time Just controls the operations: The Napoleon of Crime!
Demeter, Bombalutina:
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square But when a crime's discovered then Macavity, Macavity Macavity, Macavity
When a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
-- The Fight --
All:
We have to find Old Deuteronomy
- Mr. Mistoffelees
Rum Tum Tugger:
You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees!
The original Conjuring Cat
The greatest magicians have something to learn From Mr. Mistoffelees conjuring turn
And you'll all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
He is quiet, he is small, he is black From the ears to the tip of his tail He can creep through the tiniest crack He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always decieving you into believing That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it was merely misplaced You have seen it one moment and then it is gone! But you find it next week laying out on the lawn
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
All:
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger:
Well! My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer But my voice has been heard on the roof When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred Which is uncontestable proof of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call me in from the garden for hours
When I was asleep in the hall
Rum Tum Tugger:
And not long ago this phenomenal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
And not long ago this phenomenal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat
And we all say
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well I never was there ever
A cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the magical Mr. Mistoffelees!
- Memory
Jemima:
Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day
Munkustrap:
Now Old Deuteronomy just before dawn Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn And come back to a different Jellicle Life
Grizabella:
Memory, turn your face to the moonlight Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is Then a new life will begin
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was Let the memory live again
Burnt out ends of smokey days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over Another day is dawning
Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too And a new day will begin
Sunlight, through the trees in summer Endless masquerading
Like a flower as the dawn is breaking The memory is fading
Touch me, it's so easy to leave me All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day has begun
- The Journey to the Heaviside Layer All:
Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Russell Hotel Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Jellicle Moon Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
Up up up past the Jellicle Moon Up up up up to the Heaviside Layer
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity Round the cathedral rang "Vivat" Life to the everlasting cat
- The Ad-dressing of Cats
Old Deuteronomy:
You've heard of several kinds of cat And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character
You've learned enough to take the view That cats are very much like you You've seen us both at work and play And learnt about our proper names Our habits and our habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat
So first, your memory I'll jog And say: A cat is not a dog
So first, your memory I'll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog
With cats, some say one rule is true Don't speak til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form: "O cat"!
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or strassburg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name
All:
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat
A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect
So this is this, and that is that
And there's how you ad-dress a cat