你为什么总是失败

1 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:21,333 I want to discuss with you this afternoon 2 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:25,341 why you're going to fail to have a great career. (Laughter) 3 00:00:25,341 --> 00:00:29,419 I'm an economist. I do dismal. 4 00:00:29,419 --> 00:00:34,366 End of the day, it's ready for dismal remarks. 5 00:00:34,366 --> 00:00:38,352 I only want to talk to those of you who want a great career. 6 00:00:38,352 --> 00:00:39,428 I know some of you have already decided 7 00:00:39,428 --> 00:00:42,341 you want a good career. 8 00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:44,379 You're going to fail, too— (Laughter) — 9 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:47,387 because — Goodness, you're all cheery about failing. (Laughter) 10 00:00:47,387 --> 00:00:53,350 Canadian group, undoubtedly. (Laughter) 11 00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,396 Those trying to have good careers are going to fail, 12 00:00:55,396 --> 00:00:59,372 because, really, good jobs are now disappearing. 13 00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:02,397 There are great jobs and great careers, 14 00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:06,368 and then there are the high-workload, high-stress, 15 00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:09,413 bloodsucking, soul-destroying kinds of jobs, 16 00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:11,347 and practically nothing in between. 17 00:01:11,347 --> 00:01:13,382 So the people looking for good jobs are going to fail. 18 00:01:13,382 --> 00:01:16,378 I'm going to talk about those looking for great jobs, great 19 00:01:16,378 --> 00:01:20,380 careers, and why you're going to, why you're going to fail. 20 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:26,405 First reason is that no matter how many times people tell you, 21 00:01:26,405 --> 00:01:30,358 "If you want a great career, you have to pursue your passion, 22 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:33,361 you have to pursue your dreams, you have to pursue, 23 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:36,377 the greatest fascination in your life," 24 00:01:36,377 --> 00:01:38,409 you hear it again and again and then you decide 25 00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:42,417 not to do it. It doesn't matter how many times you download 26 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:47,343 Steven J.'s Stanford commencement address, 27 00:01:47,343 --> 00:01:50,373 you still look at it and decide not to do it. 28 00:01:50,373 --> 00:01:52,412 I'm not quite sure why you decide not to do it. 29 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,412 You're too lazy to do it. It's too hard. 30 00:01:54,412 --> 00:01:57,361 You're afraid if you look for your passion and don't find it, 31 00:01:57,361 --> 00:02:00,371 you'll feel like you're an idiot, so then you make excuses 32 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:03,365 about why you're not going to look for your passion. 33 00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:04,427 And they are excuses, ladies and gentlemen. 34 00:02:04,427 --> 00:02:07,405 We're going to go through a whole long list, your creativity, 35 00:02:07,405 --> 00:02:10,397 and thinking of excuses not to do what you really 36 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:13,394 need to do if you want to have a great career. 37 00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:19,399 So, for example, one of your great excuses is, 38 00:02:19,399 --> 00:02:24,400 "Well, great careers are really and truly, for most people, 39 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,348 just a matter of luck, so I'm going to stand around, 40 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,416 I'm going to try to be lucky, and if I'm lucky, 41 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:33,414 I'll have a great career. If not, I'll have a good career." 42 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:37,362 But a good career is an impossibility, so that's not going to work. 43 00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:41,349 Then, your other excuse is, "Yes, there are special people 44 00:02:41,349 --> 00:02:45,346 who pursue their passions, but they are geniuses. 45 00:02:45,346 --> 00:02:48,373 They are Steven J. I'm not a genius. 46 00:02:48,373 --> 00:02:51,332 When I was five, I thought I was a genius, 47 00:02:51,332 --> 00:02:53,334 but my professors have beaten that idea 48 00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:56,352 out of my head long since." (Laughter) Mm? 49 00:02:56,352 --> 00:03:00,410 "And now I know I am completely competent." 50 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:03,382 Now, you see, if this was 1950, 51 00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:06,349 being completely competent, 52 00:03:06,349 --> 00:03:08,372 that would have given you a great career. 53 00:03:08,372 --> 00:03:12,377 But guess what? This is almost 2012, and saying 54 00:03:12,377 --> 00:03:16,390 to the world, "I am totally, completely competent," 55 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:20,415 is damning yourself with the faintest of praise. 56 00:03:20,415 --> 00:03:23,348 And then, of course, another excuse: 57 00:03:23,348 --> 00:03:26,385 "Well, I would do this, I would do this, but, but, 58 00:03:26,385 --> 00:03:30,427 well, after all, I'm not weird. 59 00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:33,381 Everybody knows that people who pursue their passions 60 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:38,358 are somewhat obsessive. A little strange? Mm? Mm? Okay? 61 00:03:38,358 --> 00:03:41,379 You know, a fine line between madness and genius. 62 00:03:41,379 --> 00:03:45,425 I'm not weird. I've read Steven J.'s biography. 63 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:49,377 Oh my goodness. I am not that person. I am nice. 64 00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:52,381 I am normal. I'm a nice, normal person, 65 00:03:52,381 --> 00:03:54,394 and nice, normal people 66 00:03:54,394 --> 00:03:58,362 don't have passion. 67 00:03:58,362 --> 00:04:01,343 Ah. But I still want a great career. 68 00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:03,367 I'm not prepared to pursue my passion, so I know 69 00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:06,339 what I'm going to do, because I have, I have a solution, 70 00:04:06,339 --> 00:04:08,338 I have a strategy. 71 00:04:08,338 --> 00:04:10,356 It's the one Mommy and Daddy told me about. 72 00:04:10,356 --> 00:04:13,383 Mommy and Daddy told me that if I worked hard, 73 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,340 I'd have a good career. So, if you work hard 74 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,358 and have a good career, if you work really, really, really hard, 75 00:04:20,358 --> 00:04:22,378 you'll have a great career. Doesn't that, like, 76 00:04:22,378 --> 00:04:24,340 mathematically make sense?" 77 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:25,390 Hmm. Not. (Laughter) 78 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:28,370 But you've managed to talk yourself into that. 79 00:04:28,370 --> 00:04:30,371 You know what? Here's a little secret. 80 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,385 You want to work? You want to work really, really, really hard? 81 00:04:33,385 --> 00:04:35,399 You know what? You'll succeed. The world will give you 82 00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:40,389 the opportunity to work really, really, really, really hard, 83 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:45,362 but are you so sure that that's going to give you 84 00:04:45,362 --> 00:04:49,395 a great career when all the evidence is to the contrary? 85 00:04:49,395 --> 00:04:53,330 So let's assume, let's deal with those of you 86 00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:55,347 who are trying to find your passion. 87 00:04:55,347 --> 00:04:57,371 You actually understand that you really had better do it, 88 00:04:57,371 --> 00:05:01,367 never mind the excuses. You're trying to find your passion, 89 00:05:02,408 --> 00:05:04,417 and you're so happy. 90 00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:07,351 You found something you're interested in. 91 00:05:07,351 --> 00:05:10,345 I have an interest! I have an interest! You tell me. 92 00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:12,378 You say, "I have an interest!" I say, "That's wonderful! 93 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,392 And what, what are you trying to tell me? That you — " 94 00:05:15,392 --> 00:05:17,347 "Well, I have an interest." 95 00:05:17,347 --> 00:05:18,392 I say, "Do you have passion?" 96 00:05:18,392 --> 00:05:21,339 "I have an interest," you say. 97 00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:22,420 Your interest is compared to what? 98 00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,365 "Well, I'm interested in this." 99 00:05:25,365 --> 00:05:28,428 And what about the rest of humanity's activities? 100 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,428 "I'm not interested in them." 101 00:05:30,428 --> 00:05:32,427 You've looked at them all, have you? 102 00:05:32,427 --> 00:05:35,404 "No. Not exactly." 103 00:05:35,404 --> 00:05:38,365 Passion is your greatest love. 104 00:05:38,365 --> 00:05:43,360 Passion is the thing that will help you create 105 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,399 the highest expression of your talent. 106 00:05:45,399 --> 00:05:48,345 Passion, interest -- it's not the same thing. 107 00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:50,392 Are you really going to go to your sweetie and say, 108 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:57,331 "Marry me! You're interesting." (Laughter) 109 00:05:57,331 --> 00:06:02,362 Won't happen. Won't happen, and you will die alone. (Laughter) 110 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,407 What you want, what you want, what you want, 111 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:09,365 is passion. It is beyond interest. 112 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:12,424 You need 20 interests, and then one of them, 113 00:06:12,424 --> 00:06:15,425 one of them might grab you, one of them might engage you 114 00:06:15,425 --> 00:06:18,376 more than anything else, and then you may have found 115 00:06:18,376 --> 00:06:22,385 your greatest love in comparison to all the other things 116 00:06:22,385 --> 00:06:25,426 that interest you, and that's what passion is. 117 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:29,330 I have a friend, proposed to his sweetie. 118 00:06:29,330 --> 00:06:31,428 He was an economically rational person. 119 00:06:31,428 --> 00:06:35,389 He said to his sweetie, "Let us marry. 120 00:06:35,389 --> 00:06:38,389 Let us merge our interests." 121 00:06:38,389 --> 00:06:40,383 (Laughter) 122 00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,375 Yes he did. 123 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:46,409 "I love you truly," he said. "I love you deeply. I love you 124 00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:50,361 more than any other woman I've ever encountered. 125 00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:54,412 I love you more than Mary, Jane, Susie, Penelope, 126 00:06:54,412 --> 00:06:56,415 Ingrid, Gertrude, Gretel -- 127 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,355 I was on a German exchange program then." (Laughter) 128 00:06:59,355 --> 00:07:02,330 "I love you more than — " 129 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:08,366 All right! She left the room halfway through his enumeration 130 00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,370 of his love for her. 131 00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:13,349 After he got over his surprise at being, you know, 132 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:18,405 turned down, he concluded he'd had a narrow escape 133 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:22,390 from marrying an irrational person, 134 00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:24,415 although he did make a note to himself that the next time 135 00:07:24,415 --> 00:07:28,425 he proposed, it was perhaps not necessary to enumerate 136 00:07:28,425 --> 00:07:34,423 all of the women he had auditioned for the part. (Laughter) 137 00:07:34,423 --> 00:07:38,349 But the point stands. You must look for alternatives 138 00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:39,424 so that you find your destiny, 139 00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:42,413 or are you afraid of the word "destiny"? 140 00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:45,394 Does the word "destiny" scare you? 141 00:07:45,394 --> 00:07:47,413 That's what we're talking about, and if you don't find 142 00:07:47,413 --> 00:07:50,389 the highest expression of your talent, if you settle 143 00:07:50,389 --> 00:07:53,348 for "interesting," what the hell ever that means, 144 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:56,375 do you know what will happen at the end of your long life? 145 00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:59,390 Your friends and family will be gathered in the cemetery, 146 00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:02,418 and there, beside your gravesite will be a tombstone, 147 00:08:02,418 --> 00:08:05,405 and inscribed on that tombstone, it will say, 148 00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:12,423 "Here lies a distinguished engineer who invented Velcro." 149 00:08:12,423 --> 00:08:17,376 But what that tombstone should have said, 150 00:08:17,376 --> 00:08:20,359 in an alternative lifetime, 151 00:08:20,359 --> 00:08:23,426 what it should have said if it was your highest expression of 152 00:08:23,426 --> 00:08:29,356 talent, was, "Here lies the last Nobel Laureate in Physics, 153 00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:32,387 who formulated the Grand Unified Field Theory 154 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:36,370 and demonstrated the practicality of warp drive." 155 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,405 (Laughter) 156 00:08:38,405 --> 00:08:42,415 Velcro, indeed. (Laughter) 157 00:08:42,415 --> 00:08:46,400 One was a great career. 158 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,400 One was a missed opportunity. 159 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,400 But then, there are some of you, 160 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:56,363 in spite of all these excuses, you will find, 161 00:08:56,363 --> 00:09:00,335 you will find your passion, 162 00:09:00,335 --> 00:09:03,359 and you'll still fail. 163 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:06,399 You're going to fail, because, 164 00:09:06,399 --> 00:09:09,401 because you're not going to do it, 165 00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:13,386 because you will have invented a new excuse, 166 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:18,413 any excuse to fail to take action, and this excuse 167 00:09:18,413 --> 00:09:21,368 I've heard so many times. 168 00:09:21,368 --> 00:09:33,344 "Yes, I would pursue a great career, but I value 169 00:09:33,344 --> 00:09:38,364 human relationships more than accomplishment. 170 00:09:38,364 --> 00:09:43,345 I want to be a great friend. I want to be a great spouse. 171 00:09:43,345 --> 00:09:46,412 I want to be a great parent, and I will not sacrifice them 172 00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:50,404 on the altar of great accomplishment." 173 00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:52,407 (Laughter) 174 00:09:52,407 --> 00:09:54,368 What do you want me to say? 175 00:09:54,368 --> 00:09:57,367 Now, do you really want me to say now, tell you, 176 00:09:57,367 --> 00:10:00,400 "Really, I swear I don't kick children." (Laughter) 177 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,422 Hmm? Look at the worldview you've given yourself. 178 00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:09,425 You're a hero no matter what, and I, by suggesting, 179 00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:13,355 ever so delicately, that you might want a great career, 180 00:10:13,355 --> 00:10:16,356 must hate children. I don't hate children. I don't kick them. 181 00:10:16,356 --> 00:10:19,333 Yes, there was a little kid wandering through this building 182 00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:23,362 when I came here, and no, I didn't kick him. (Laughter) 183 00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:26,370 Course, I had to tell him that the building was for adults only 184 00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,412 and to get out. 185 00:10:27,412 --> 00:10:29,412 He mumbled something about his mother, 186 00:10:29,412 --> 00:10:33,396 and I told him she'd probably find him outside anyway. 187 00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:37,342 Last time I saw him, he was on the stairs crying. (Laughter) 188 00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:39,388 What a wimp. (Laughter) 189 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,333 But what do you mean? That's what you expect me to say. 190 00:10:42,333 --> 00:10:44,357 You really think, you really think it's appropriate 191 00:10:44,357 --> 00:10:47,342 that you should actually take 192 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,424 children and use them as a shield? 193 00:10:50,424 --> 00:10:52,409 You know what will happen someday, 194 00:10:52,409 --> 00:10:56,418 you, you ideal parent, you? 195 00:10:56,418 --> 00:11:00,346 The kid will come to you someday and say, 196 00:11:00,346 --> 00:11:02,367 "I know what I want to be. 197 00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:04,370 I know what I'm going to do with my life." 198 00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:06,409 You are so happy. It's the conversation 199 00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:09,398 a parent wants to hear, because your kid's good in math, 200 00:11:09,398 --> 00:11:12,410 and you know you're going to like what comes next. 201 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,426 Says your kid, "I have decided 202 00:11:14,426 --> 00:11:17,393 I want to be a magician. 203 00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:21,406 I want to perform magic tricks on the stage." 204 00:11:21,406 --> 00:11:23,409 (Laughter) 205 00:11:23,409 --> 00:11:26,355 And what do you say? 206 00:11:26,355 --> 00:11:28,402 You say, you say, 207 00:11:28,402 --> 00:11:32,332 "Umm ... that's risky, kid. 208 00:11:32,332 --> 00:11:34,414 Might fail, kid. Don't make a lot of money at that, kid. 209 00:11:34,414 --> 00:11:36,330 You know, I don't know, kid, 210 00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:37,422 you should think about that again, kid, 211 00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:39,375 you're so good at math, why don't you — " 212 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:40,423 And the kid interrupts you, and says, 213 00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:45,367 "But it is my dream. It is my dream to do this." 214 00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,357 And what are you going to say? 215 00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:48,423 You know what you're going to say? 216 00:11:48,423 --> 00:11:54,370 "Look kid. I had a dream once, too, but -- but." 217 00:11:54,370 --> 00:11:57,357 So how are you going to finish the sentence with your "but"? 218 00:11:57,357 --> 00:12:03,352 "... But. I had a dream too, once, kid, but I was afraid to pursue it." 219 00:12:03,352 --> 00:12:05,412 Or, are you going to tell him this? 220 00:12:05,412 --> 00:12:09,386 "I had a dream once, kid. 221 00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:14,391 But then you were born." (Laughter) 222 00:12:14,391 --> 00:12:16,377 (Laughter) (Applause) 223 00:12:16,377 --> 00:12:21,419 Do you, do you really want to use your family, 224 00:12:21,419 --> 00:12:24,389 do you really ever want to look at your spouse 225 00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:29,341 and your kid and see your jailers? 226 00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:33,330 There was something you could have said to your kid 227 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:37,342 when he or she said, "I have a dream." 228 00:12:37,342 --> 00:12:42,385 You could have said, looked the kid in the face, and said, 229 00:12:42,385 --> 00:12:45,356 "Go for it, kid, 230 00:12:45,356 --> 00:12:49,385 just like I did." 231 00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:52,359 But you won't be able to say that 232 00:12:52,359 --> 00:12:59,409 because you didn't. So you can't. (Laughter) 233 00:12:59,409 --> 00:13:02,364 And so the sins of the parents 234 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:07,365 are visited on the poor children. 235 00:13:07,365 --> 00:13:12,401 Why will you seek refuge in human relationships 236 00:13:12,401 --> 00:13:18,375 as your excuse not to find and pursue your passion? 237 00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,395 You know why. 238 00:13:20,395 --> 00:13:23,422 In your heart of hearts, you know why, 239 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:26,346 and I'm being deadly serious. 240 00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,409 You know why you would get all warm and fuzzy 241 00:13:28,409 --> 00:13:31,412 and wrap yourself up in human relationships. 242 00:13:31,412 --> 00:13:35,389 It is because you are — 243 00:13:35,389 --> 00:13:37,370 You know what you are. 244 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:41,349 You're afraid to pursue your passion. 245 00:13:41,349 --> 00:13:43,362 You're afraid to look ridiculous. 246 00:13:43,362 --> 00:13:49,420 You're afraid to try. You're afraid you may fail. 247 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:56,358 Great friend, great spouse, great parent, great career. 248 00:13:56,358 --> 00:14:01,358 Is that not a package? Is that not who you are? 249 00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:04,383 How can you be one without the other? 250 00:14:04,383 --> 00:14:07,342 But you're afraid. 251 00:14:07,342 --> 00:14:15,403 And that's why you're not going to have a great career, unless -- 252 00:14:15,403 --> 00:14:22,333 unless, that most evocative of all English words -- 253 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,421 unless. 254 00:14:23,421 --> 00:14:28,333 But the unless word is also attached 255 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:33,397 to that other, most terrifying phrase, 256 00:14:33,397 --> 00:14:36,378 "If only I had ... " 257 00:14:36,378 --> 00:14:39,362 "If only I had .