律政俏佳人 剧本

Legally Blonde 2 script Look, her first high-end retail shopping experience. Her nanny tried to take her to Baby Gap... but she'd just cry and cry. She was a professional shopper at age three. Oh, wow! Remember when she was on the cover of "Seventeen"? She had so much potential back then. Look at her. She could have been a Playmate by now. Hello! She's a lawyer. -That's way better. -Why? There she is! You always said she has the perfect shaped head... for a tiara! Look at that slime dog! It was so nice of you to make this for Elle's wedding shower. I can't scrapbook worth a damn. I took a class on it at community college. -She got a "B." -Plus! The day she passed her LSAT! I swallowed some of that Silly String. It wouldn't be the first time. Look at that. Her first day at Harvard. Unbelievable. Awesome. The Bend and Snap! I love that. I did it last night naked. -You did not. -Yes. I busted a window. Oh, my God, there's Bruiser's first highlights. Is this the key to her first office at the firm? Remember that Caribbean decor? It was genius. Look, there she is with Congresswoman Rudd... when they started the Harvard alumni women's event. -Yeah. -That's two kick-ass women. I like them. I really like them. The first day they met! Emmett loves her already. You can see it in his eyes. Emmett and Elle. They're truly Romeo and Juliet without the dying. Paulette? Oh, my God! Girls, I think it's her. -Quick! Lights out! -OK! Paulette? I thought we were supposed to be at the movies by 9:00. Surprise! We got her! Oh, my God! Margot, Serena, I cannot believe... you guys flew all the way here! -No biggie. -On the contrary. It's a huge biggie. Thank you. You guys are the best. Speaking of biggies, can we see your ring again? Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle. You mean, this one? Clarity between F.L. and V.V.S. Nice girdle diameter. Cut impeccable. It's a keeper. Thanks! Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett! That's me and Emmett on Fenway baseball field. It's his favorite place in the whole world. I love snow globes. I can hear the ocean. Listen, honey, you're a full-time bride now... so you'll need a whole new wardrobe. I'm not quitting my job, you guys. Do you guys remember that feeling we used to get... during a really intense Spinning class? That we feel so truly amazing about ourselves? That's how I feel being a lawyer. I love it. I have this huge annual review coming up... so keep 'em crossed, girls. Crossed! Congratulations, you did it. With three wrong answers, you've managed to undermine... the entire foundation upon which our legal system's built. And by the way... it only took me two wrong answers. Sweetie, you customized my ring? Again? Emmett, you are never going to believe my news! -What? -Fenway Park! You, me, two rings, and one recently ordained umpire... right on the entry field! Infield. What are you talking about? It turns out the starting pitcher for the Red Sox... has an unfortunate unibrow problem. He goes to Nadia, my waxer... so the team pulled some strings with the site manager... and we're getting married at Fenway! Are you serious? Are you sure this is what you want to do? I can married anywhere and it wouldn't matter. That's a lie. I'm getting married under the Green Monster! Yes! And in just three months and four days! Emmett, we have so much to talk about. I want everybody who matters to us to be there. Oh, my God! I almost forgot! You want me to what? You want me to what? A biological birth parent search. For your dog. For my Chihuahua-American Bruiser Woods. I found him abandoned years ago. Miss, I'm the highest-paid, most sought after... private investigator in the greater Boston area. That's precisely why we came to you, Detective. It is absolutely vital that we find Bruiser's mother pronto. His father might be more difficult. You know dogs. May I ask why? Of course. "Martha Stewart Weddings"... recommends a 4 to 6-week window for RSVPs... and I can't send the invitation without an address. And the sooner I get started on the calligraphy the better. You want to send an invitation to your wedding... to your dog's mother. And you're serious? Detective, if I have to make room... for my second cousin's vegan diet coach... you better believe I'll make room for the mother... of the one loving creature who's always been there for me. In fact, I can't believe I haven't done this sooner! I'm thinking the same thing. -Elle! -Hi, Mr. Blaine. -The client is thrilled. -Good! How you seamlessly negotiated that deal? -lt was simply magnifique. -Thank you. Big staff meeting today, kiddo. All right. I got my fingers crossed. Milton, two shots, extra foam. -Wow. Thanks, E.W. -No problem! -Go get 'em today. -Thanks. Soy for you, honey. No dairy. That's right. Thank you. Your call list is endless. -lt is? -We better get right on it. Kevin, you shouldn't have! I'm not sure they're giving me the promotion today. It's just a widespread yet credible rumor. It's from me and the girls. Oh, right! Now do me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. -Me, too! -You do? I had no idea I could be this happy... without accruing credit card debt. Already? Well, Miss Woods, even the weird ones get cracked. -You ready? -Yes! Bruiser Woods... meet your mom. Bruiser...your cheekbones. And it's all in there. Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for. Oh, my God! She's a Bostonian! Bruiser, we're here! As your adoptive mother, I'm sure you're nervous... about meeting your birth mother... but hear her out, OK? I'm sure she had her reasons. Bruiser, your mother lives at... the top secret Versace think-tank! I told you they had one! No, ma'am. Unless you have a pass, you cannot go up there. Lucky I always keep it on me. Hold on. It's right here. There you go. What is it? It's my double platinum V.V.I.P. Versace... Preferred Customer identification card. Available only to those that've shopped on five continents. If that fails to satisfy you, you can also contact... Billy Dailey, head of customer relations. You got the wrong VERSACE, lady. Really? Donatella's not here? Bruiser, where are you going? Bruiser! Ma'am! Bruiser? Get back here! Where are you going? Bruiser, I didn't know you were so athletic. What is it? Oh, my God! You, come here! Come on! Open this door immediately! What are you doing here? You have my dog's mom, and I need her right now! Absolutely not. I'm not authorized to release... any subjects from their containment units. I'm not even allowed to have a key. Swallow the thing one time, and all of a sudden... you're the weird key swallower who can't be trusted. I don't think you're understanding me. I'm willing to pay for her. These animals aren't for sale, ma'am. They're the legal property of this facility. What kind of facility is this? Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry! Elle, this VERSACE is a cosmetic testing facility. -Oh, no! -Bruiser's mom's a test subject. I want her out of there immediately. Animal test subjects can only be surrendered... on a voluntary basis, and they're not volunteering. After I get through with them, they'll be begging. And I'm not just taking Bruiser's mom. I'll bust all those dogs out of that doggie dungeon. "Research Science and Critter Exploitation"? This VERSACE's owned by the C'est Magnifique Corporation! That's fantastic! Our law firm represents C'est Magnifique. We can tell them to fix this. I can't wait to take this to the partners. But how are you going to convince them? Presenting... Abandoned at birth, I was on my own at an early age... fighting for survival on the streets of Beverly Hills... making his way down the boulevard of broken dreams, turning tricks at Hollywood and Vine... yet even when I found a loving mother... I couldn't shake this nagging emptiness in my heart. It was like a void. When I looked in the mirror... who was it that was looking back at me? This is Bruiser's question. And in a way, aren't we all Bruisers? I think yes. Thank you. Ms. Woods, this is a law firm... not an animal rights advocacy group. We're lawyers. We have to fight for justice. And this is definitely unjust. In this case, the cost of beauty is way too high. I can't believe I said that, but it's true. What we fight for... is our clients and their best interests. But isn't doing the right thing in everybody's best interest? I think you're confusing the right thing and the law. You didn't think they were the same, did you? Why don't we get back to business... and discuss your very bright future? Pardon me, I don't mean to interrupt... but I just-- What you're saying is... if C'est Magnifique follows the letter of the law... even if it ends up hurting living beings... we're just doing our job? I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine... I don't think I can work with people who believe that. You know what? You're right. Thank you, Mr. Blaine. You shouldn't have to work with people who believe that. Absolutely. I knew you would understand. You're fired, Elle. What? We only have room for serious lawyers here. Take the rest of the day to clear out your things. But the secretarial pool already gave me a balloon. Keep the balloon, if you wish. Please, Emmett, just go away. Why don't you come on out, sweetie? I know Bruiser doesn't blame you. But I'm all he has to speak for him in this world... and I have completely failed him. You know what I thought the first time I saw you? "God, that woman wears a lot of pink"? No. I thought... "That woman is really special." "She believes she can make a difference and she will." So...come on out and let's talk about it. No. We could go over some wedding details. How about that? It revolves. And it illuminates. It's even got the Red Sox colors. That's fantastic, honey! Speaking of red socks... you're not getting cold feet, are you? About what? How's it going to look? A Harvard law professor... married to a lawyer who got fired from her first job. Fired for something she believes in. It's going to look like... "There goes the luckiest guy in the whole world." Thanks. Holy crap! It's gorgeous! The material keeps falling apart. No! Amy, is something wrong? You can't do a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. The material's too delicate. It'll just fall apart. But in two out of three home tests it held. I am so sorry, Elle. No biggie. I guess I don't need... a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. I'll be fine. What is it that you said back when I couldn't... fit into my white spandex pantsuit for my wedding? If the fabric doesn't work with you... don't work with it. It's one of my favorite mantras. That is so true, and I know the most perfect organza! Or something really classy like... Iike white leather! I'll call the guy that did my car seats. Wait...that's it. Don't fight the fabric. Change it. OK, but white leather? If the law is what's keeping Bruiser's mother locked up... I shouldn't be fighting it, I should be changing it. Everybody, I'm going to make... animal testing for cosmetics illegal! I know that making a dog wear mascara and blush is wrong... This isn't just about Bruiser's mom anymore... this is about the fact that every day... that I put on my Gold Goddess luminescent blush... some poor little innocent animal might be suffering for it. You don't realize how horrible something is... until it happens to you personally. Like breastfeeding. And if I want to give a voice to Bruiser... I have to go to the place that gave a voice to the people! Oh, my God! The headquarters of "Cosmopolitan" magazine! Better! Ladies... I'm going to Washington! D.C., here I come! If anybody can handle this, it's you, honey. I got a call from the Delta Nu 24-hour housing hotline. Your apartment's all set. -Great! -Elle! Oh, my God! You look like the Fourth of July! Makes me want a hot dog real bad. Yeah, OK. You got to get going, honey. OK. -Elle, look at this. -What's that? According to "Animal Fair" magazine... your new boss is the best groomed woman in Washington. Her beagle's name is Dolly Madison... which is my grandma's stripper name. Isn't that a good sign? Oh, my gosh. A job with a brilliant congresswoman... who's also a fellow Harvard alum. You'll do great, Elle. It's destiny. But isn't planning the wedding of the century... and changing the law kind of hard? Paulette, I taught Bruiser how to shop online. I think I can handle Congress. See ya. Home sweet home. You ready? OK. Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am. It's a thrill to be here! Time to legislate! No. Too Nancy. Too Hillary. Too Monica. Too perfect for words! Hi! Good morning, fellow public servants. It's my first day. Nice briefcase. Huh? Thank you. Hi! Last item on our agenda--Elle Woods. Personal Rudd hire, taking up a bill... on animal testing in the cosmetic industry. I'm sorry, Rudd's backing that? Matter of conscience, whatever. Who knows? Maybe it'll boost our female demographic. The point is we're animal lovers now. If this is so important to Rudd, shouldn't I be handling it? No, Timothy, not when we have a woman... who according to Rudd, is one of the shrewdest... Iegal and political minds of our time. Hello, patriots! I don't think I've been this excited... since Gucci became a publicly traded company. Oh, my God, it's Capitol Barbie. She's so shiny. So where should I start? Excuse me, sweetie? Intern orientation is down the hall in Room 216. That's before 217 and after 215. Oh, my God! That is so sweet of you! You think I'm an intern? That anti-wrinkle all-salmon diet really works. Who are you? -I'm sorry-- -Elle Woods, welcome! I haven't seen you since the alumni meeting! -I know! How are you? -Good! This is Elle Woods, everyone. Basically me when I first came to D.C... so make her feel at home. You ready to hit the ground running? Are these not my comfortable heels? -Cute shoes. -Thank you. They are comfy. Here's Bruiser. Welcome. Oh, you little sugar! Back her up, people. This is the most collaborative bunch on the Hill... So gather them together... talk strategy as soon as you get settled in. -And, Elle? -Yes? -Welcome to Washington. -Thank you! Okey-dokey. I missed the part about where my office is. The desk. Right here. All righty. Then I'm going to need a glue gun... some pinking shears, and five yards of grosgrain ribbon. Yeah, that'll do it. Well, look at you. You can run your wedding coordinator business... during all that legislative downtime. Don't be silly, Grace. This is to plan my own wedding to Emmett. See, this is us. He had this made for me. That's him, and that's me smiling. Maybe he'll make one of you and me. You'll be talking and I'll be throwing up. Speaking of nuptials, wait till I tell... the congresswoman that I was invited... to John McCain's nephew's wedding. He's really quite a sweet kid. Tell me something, Timothy... is it difficult for you to breathe with... your mouth flat against your employer's butt? I don't know, Grace. Is it difficult to see... with your head in the Minority Whip's lap? It was the distinguished gentlemen from lowa. His wife had recently left him and we just talked. Right. Because if you did "visit" his district... you should've gotten some legislation out of it. How would you even know... when you're busy chasing interns on a skateboard? Excuse me? Who wants to talk animal testing? Write a bill, Britney. I don't have a car! Snap Cup time Gather ye round Friends and foes together United and bound Pass it to your neighbor Instead of blowing up And we'll find harmony and love In the Snap Cup! Don't tell me you don't know what a Snap Cup is? OK, I'll explain it. You are going to write down an anonymous praise note... on a little warm fuzzy. Warm fuzzy? Yes. Compliments about your co-workers. Just something nice. Then you deposit them in the sacred vessel. The Snap Cup is essential to any bipartisan environment. Consider 1998 Spring Carnival. The Delta Nus partnered with the Kappa Kappa Gammas... on Project Kissing Booth. Big problems. Go ahead, write. So, a whole heated debate transpired... over the whole tongue-no tongue policy. I think you know what side the Kappas were on. Anyway, it really helped us move past the conflict... and I think it can help us today. Let's just try this, OK? Thank you, Reena. Thank you. Thanks for that. Thank you, Timothy. So now, the Snap Cup mistress--me--recites. Good, I got mine. "Grace always has the confidence to speak her mind. "Plus, she looks terrific in charcoal." And, voil? snaps for Grace! You see? Our first Snap Cup! This is so exciting! I wonder what'll happen next? All right, this is... "What do Elle Woods and the Snap Cup have in common?" A riddle. That's so cool. I love riddles. "They're both..." "stupid." Enough already. Maybe we can do something actually worthwhile... Iike attend the hearing of the committee... you need to crack. I'll take you myself. Thank you, Grace. That's very generous of you. See, I think the Snap Cup really works. Wow. Good morning. This is just like on C-SPAN except I'm not bored. You're in the wrong room, sweetheart. Intern orientation is in room... 216? Yes, I've heard. Thank you. Hi, I'm Elle Woods. I'm not an intern. Rob Cole. Me, neither. I'm the new legislative aide to Congresswoman Rudd. I'm an old congressman from Delaware. I've been to Delaware! No sales tax. Good one, sir. Committee is called to order. Welcome to the special meeting of the... Excuse me. Sorry. Committee of Energy and Commerce. Before we turn to our official agenda... are there any introductory remarks? Madam chairwoman... Grace Rossiter, chief of staff... Representative Rudd, Massachusetts. As our newest legislative assistant... will be spearheading a campaign under your committee... I'm sure she'd love the floor. Thus I yield to my colleague, the lady in hot pink. You have the floor, lady in hot pink. Me? Would you care to more specifically identify yourself? Oh, sure! My name is Elle Woods, Boston by way of Bel Air. And as my surname would suggest... I am a passionate advocate for everything in nature... and a contented citizen... until my shorthaired Chihuahua, Bruiser... brought me face-to-face with the animal testing issue. You're out of order, Miss Woods. This is a fuel efficiency hearing. I don't see anything in the agenda about animal testing. Will you yield the floor? Absolutely. I'm almost done. So, in conclusion, I just want to say... that I am so excited about the day... that I get to march up those grand Capitol steps... and drop that very bill in the... What's it called? It's like a shiny, mahogany box thing? The hopper. Exactly! The hopper! How could I forget? It's like a bunny. Perfect for animal testing. And I want to let everybody know... that I'm having a post-hopper tapas party. I'm making sangria. It's really yummy. My, my, how very interesting that all sounds. It'll be fun. However, the next time you consider... attending a hearing over which I preside...don't! Committee is called to order. OK. Welcome to the special meeting of the Committee... of Energy an