PG

Artie： I`m fired? Manager: I`m sorry, Artie. I`m changing everything.New logos, new uniforms, new music. All the deadwood is floating to the Sawmill. Artie: I`m deadwood? Manager: You`re old school. You reminisce and you tell stories. All our sponsors are for hearing aids, beds that go up and down, and scooters. Not the cool kind, the sad kind. We need someone who`s wired in. Artie: To what? Manager: Facebook. How many friends do you have? Artie: I don`t have any friends. Manager: Have you made any posts? Artie: No. Manager: What was your last update? Artie: My what? Manager: Have you poked anybody? Artie: I haven`t poked anybody! Manager: Has anybody poked you? Artie: No. Manager: The thing is, Artie, even if you were connected... I don`t know that I`d want to be poked by you. How many apps do you have? Artie: I don`t have any apps. Manager: You don`t have any apps? Artie: No. Manager: Everyone has apps. Artie: I don`t have an app. Manager: Do you play Angry Birds? Artie: Angry Birds? Manager: Who`s your favorite Angry Bird? Artie: I don`t have a favorite Angry Bird! Manager: Everyone has a favorite Angry Bird. Artie: I don`t have a favorite Angry Bird! Manager: Hashtag. What was the last time you hashtagged? Artie: Are you out of your mind? What the heck are you talking about? Manager: We need announcers that tweet. Artie: I`ll tweet. I`ll make whatever noise you want. Manager: Sorry, Artie, my mind`s made up. Artie: Hey, what are you doing? Barker: Guarding the door. Artie: Can I go in? Barker: Not today, sir. Artie: Is he crying? Barker: He doesn`t cry .He makes the face. Artie: I didn`t mean to upsethim. Barker: You should`ve use your exit shoes. Artie: My what? Barker: Exit shoes, to walk away and not use a red voice. Artie: And a red voice is…? Barker: Super-mad sounding. You shouldn`t use it. Never. Artie: Uh-huh. Barker: That` why you have a cool toolbox. It where you keep your cool blue voice, your exit shoes and your repair squares. Artie: Where did you learn all this? Barker: Preschool. Artie: You mean, there are more kids like you? Barker: (nods his head) Artie: I`m doomed. All right. I`m going in there. Barker: What`s in it for me? Artie: (Smile and give him a piece of papermoney) Barker: Thank you. Artie: The little capitalist. Artie: Hi, there. So I`m taking a repair square out of my cool toolbox to say in my blue voice ,that I am sorry…So, are we good now? Turner: No. Artie: Would you like five dollars? Turner: No. Artie: An unopened package of men`s size 34 underwear? Turner: No. Artie: Is there anything I can do to make this right? Turner: We…well, th…there is one thing. (They watched 电锯惊魂，被吓到大叫出声。) Artie：They made six of this? Artie: Blue! That`s three strikes! One, two ,three, out of there! Referee: Time! Alice: It`s okay. This is my dad and he is new here. Referee: Oh, okay. There are no outs in this game. Artie: No outs? How is that possible? Referee: They hit until they get on base. Artie: Seriously? Referee: Seriously. Alice: Dad, why don`t we just sit down? Artie: Oh.All right…But know that`s kind of stupid! Man1: He`s right! I hate these games! What`s the point? Man 2: The point is for the kids to enjoy the game without competition. Artie: Yeah. But competition is the game! You know, it`s like life. (Turn to the referee) Let me ask you something. I mean ,how do you even know who`s winning? Referee: In this league, we don`t keep score. Every game ends in a tie. Artie: Oh, no. No agony of defeat? Just the thrill of a tie? Woman 1: It`s good they don`t keep score! Woman 2:Yeah, because your kid stinks. Woman 1:Oh I will bust you up! Woman 3: The old guy`s right. It`s boring. Artie: See? Alice: It is not boring! They `re children and they`re having fun! And there is plenty of time in their lives to keep score! Artie: And you are out! Alice: What were you even doing there? Artie: I was on an audition. Because the Grizzlies fired me. Alice: What? Why didn`t you tell us? Artie: Because it is humiliating. Alice: Why would they do that? You are so good at that job. Artie: Maybe not so good enough. Alice…your mom was really hoping that this trip would help bring her closer to her grandchildren. And she and Harper have developed a relationship that`s kind of great and I don`t want to see that end just because I screwed up. Artie: So，little girl ,I have to give you three put-ups.好的地方 Alice: No, dad. Artie: Please. Alice: It`s okay. Artie: Harper, Turner, Barker. They`re great kids and you`re a really good mother Alice: Yeah. I`m basking in the glow of my children`s affection. Artie: Harper? She didn`t mean anything. I mean, she is 12. Get ready, it`s going to get a lot worse. Only, don`t let her turn her back on you. Because that will break your heart. Artie: The other players are coming over to examine it. I can see it from here! Wow , you would take an aerial photograph of that thing！ I am sure there`s going to be orange slices in the locker room and a couple of tissues. Meanwhile, Naz scores. And that is another home run! Turner: The giants are still leading, 34 to 27. What a first inning! Artie: You`re telling me .还真是。I hope the second inning is shorter because grandpa needs a bathroom break.