Do First Things First

I’m constantly on the hunt for insights about happiness — which probably makes me a somewhat tiresome companion at times. In any event, I was talking to a friend about her views on happiness, and she said, “I try to remember to do first things first.”c “What does that mean?” I asked, mystified. “It means, don’t skip the obvious first steps in your haste to get to the next thing. Don’t overlook the basics because you’re trying to get fancy.” “I still don’t know what that means, exactly,” I answered. “Well, I tell myself, ‘First things first,’ to make sure that I eat before a job interview.” First things first! For me, I knew, first things first meant taking care of my body. I’m so much less patient and lighthearted when I’m physically uncomfortable. First things first means getting enough sleep, not letting myself get too hungry, dressing more warmly (even if other people make fun of my long underwear, fingerless gloves, and hat), taking pain medication whenever I get a headache or back pain, and keeping clutter at a manageable level. It means putting away my devices during family time. It means doing at least three hours of writing each day — not researching, not reading, not answering email, but actual original writing. I remind myself: Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination. Efficiency experts often talk about the “urgent” and the “important.” All too often, what’s important gets pushed aside while we deal with what’s urgent – but in the end, what’s important is what’s important. (Or as my sister says, "Your lack of planning is not my emergency.") First things first is another way to remind myself of my real priorities. How about you? Have you found ways to make sure that you take care of first things first? If you want to read more along these lines, check out Happier at Home, chapter seven. · Are you reading Happier at Home or The Happiness Project in a book group? Email me if you'd like the one-page discussion guide. Or if you're reading it in a spirituality book club, a Bible study group, or the like, email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com for the spirituality one-page discussion guide.