罗志祥小猪冷笑话

罗志祥小猪冷笑话 一 。飞机上最常出现的人名? 是 "郭桂宾"(各位贵宾 连着读) 二。 书,铅笔盒,橡皮之中谁是坏人? 书.因为"害人之心BOOK(不可)有" 三 。睡美人最怕什么? 失眠.啊哈哈哈!! 四 。羊来了!猜一个水果! 草莓.啊哈哈哈!!! 咳咳~ 五 。出去玩什么人不能约? 儿童. 因为"不约而同(儿童)" 六。 一个混混去福利社买猪血汤,用勺子挖呀挖,然后对老板说:"老板,为什么没有猪血?" ...... 老板拿了一包 王子面 给他,说"打开啊,看里面有没有王子?" 七。 十二点的时候要干嘛? 抱佛脚,因为 "临时(零时)抱佛脚" 八。有一天一颗糖果走到半路上腿软了～。。。。就变成了软糖～ 九。有一天，火柴棒在抓头，不小心起火了，被送到医院，请问它出院后变成什么, 答案:变成棉花棒，因为它包着绷带 十。有一天红豆和男友面粉一起搭飞机旅游世界，一不小心飞机起火失事， 面粉说:“红豆妹妹别怕～我会保护你的。”于是紧紧抱住她， 后来人们在飞机残骸中找到合而为一的两人尸体。 „„这就是豆沙包的起源„„ 十一。 有一次呢惊惊(祥自创的一个角色~ 和达浪很像)在开车，然后开到一半呢，载到一个女的， 那女的一上车面无表情地说:“我要到第二殡仪馆～” 啊,凌晨两点要到第二殡仪馆，好可怕哦。开到一半，开到一半， urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway 他紧张的拿起一个苹果吃。然后那女的说:“我生前也很喜欢吃苹果。” 然后惊惊就“啊～惊惊~~惊惊~~~惊惊~~~~”:l:l就尿裤子了。>_< 然后那小姐就补第一句话:“但是生完小孩之后就不喜欢吃了。 十二。 一天,惊惊和一个美国人和一个英国人在沙漠裏走啊走, 又饿又渴,走累了,他们坐在沙子上. 惊惊把手伸到沙子裏:"惊惊惊惊,有神灯捏!" 后来,一个大大的巨人出来暸,说:"你们三个都是我的主人,我会实现你们三个愿望." 于是,英国人说:"我要钱!"巨人给英国人一堆钱"我要美女"巨人给暸英国人美女" 我要囬英国"巨人把英国人送囬暸英国. 于是,美国人说:我要钱"巨人给暸美国人一堆钱, 我要美女"巨人给暸美国人美女" 我要囬美国"巨人把美国人送囬暸美国. 于是,惊惊说:我要水 巨人给暸惊惊水, 惊惊说:惊惊惊惊我要饼干 巨人给暸惊惊饼干 惊惊抓抓脑袋,对巨人说:我挺想念那美国人和那个英国人, 我想让他们囬来陪我! 巨人把英国人和美国人又接暸囬来..... <好可爱的惊惊> 十三。有一次呢~惊惊一定要学好英文~ 惊惊 : This is a book~This is a chair ~This is a cup~This is a dog......... 他学了2年之后~他决定要到美国L.A. urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway 去测试他的美国的英文到底可不可以~ 他到了美国机场一下去就........ 惊惊 : 我到了美国了~我现在就去测试我的英文强不强~ .....惊惊.....惊惊....我要找谁好呢~,ㄝ.....那边有一个黑人 我好好的测试一下他~ 惊惊就走近那个黑人 惊惊 : abcdefghijklmnop.........xyz 黑人 : ok~bpmfdtnl.......... ................................ (注:一个是用英文单词，一个是用汉语拼音) 十四。 有一天呢~惊惊要期末考 有一个坏学生就跟惊惊讲 坏学生 : 待回考试的时候给我瞄一下喔~我踢你的椅子你就给我瞄一下 惊惊 : 什麼?你说什麼? 坏学生 : 就是我踢你的椅子你就给我瞄一下就对了啦~ 惊惊 : 好丫~惊惊.....可是我不知道我会不会耶~ 到了考试的时候~惊惊好棒喔~每一题都会~ urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway 后面的坏学生就不会写~於是踢惊惊的椅子~ 惊惊 : 我要开始喵了啦~喵~~~~~~ 那个坏学生就一直踢一直踢~ 惊惊 : 喵丫.......喵~~~~~~ 一下课坏学生就说~ 坏学生 : a~惊惊~我刚不是说我踢你的椅子你就给我瞄一下吗? 惊惊 : 我喵了~明明就叫我喵~~ 十五。 一个胖子从10楼跳下来变成什么? 变成死胖子~~~ 十六 。惊惊的缺点 一天老师在上课，看见惊惊在课堂上睡觉，然后老师拍了一下桌子，气愤地问:惊惊，你认 识到上课睡觉的缺点了吗, 惊惊说:“吖~认识到了～” 老师:缺点是什么, 惊惊:缺点就是不如睡在床上舒服～ 十七 。小明看病 有一天呢,小明去医院看病, 他用一个手指戳身体的好多出,说"我这裏也痛,那裏也痛" 医生检查过之后发现小明根本没有病,可是小明还是用手指戳身体的好多出说会痛, 最后,医生发现,原来,是小明手指的病.~~ 十八 。地理课... 今天讲上地理课~~ 老师要同学指出地图中的美洲在那? 小美就到台前去指. 指对了. 然后老师问说那美洲是谁发现的哩? 全班回答"小美~~~~" urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway 十九 。瞎子的奇事 大家好我是惊惊 惊是我 所以我是(惊惊) 有一天呢 有一个瞎子 跟一个笨卡 那个瞎子呢在骑脚踏车 忽然在半路中呢遇到一笨卡 那个笨卡说 那个瞎子啊 你可以载我一程嘛 那个瞎子说 好啊 那这样好了 我们要培养一个默契 我等一下拍你左边 你就往左边 拍你右边 你就拄右边 两个人一直骑一直骑 很顺利的时候 那个笨卡忽然看到前面一有个大水沟 他不知道怎么跟他形容呐 那个时候呢他就说 沟 沟 沟 瞎子就说 啊咧 啊咧 啊咧(足球的歌曲) (瞎子想像力真丰富 二十 。小明考试 有一天?小明他考试回来 妈妈就问他说:小明今天题目难不难, 小明说:题目一点都不难 妈妈说:那题目不难 那考的很好 小明说:题目不难 但是答案很难 二十一 小明花钱 小明呢很爱花钱，看到喜欢的东西就买，可是呢，不久他变成了百万富翁，是为什么呢, 因为他以前是亿万富翁 二十二 。蚊子生日 嘿~大家好~我是惊惊的妹妹~ 我叫惊啥妹 (惊啥妹～) 我最近想要学小叮当竹蜻蜓 就拿这个梳子插下去 哦~受伤了~ urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway 唉,～还好没有很好笑~ 唉,～今天我讲的笑话就是有一天~ 有一个蚊子 就飞到小明的手掌上 小明正要把它打下去的时候 那个蚊子说 不要打我，今天是我生日 哦~(唱到)HAPPY BRITHDAY TO YOU～ 死翘翘了呢 哦~哇~~~~~ 二十三 。为什麽坏人坐车不用钱 吼~吓我一大跳~! 大家好~我是惊惊~惊惊是我~所以我是? ((惊惊!)) 好~小朋友问你一个问题哦~! 为什麽坏人坐车不用钱? 因为他们坐的是警车~ 二十四 。有一天，老师问我:1+1=,我说:不知道。老师说，回家问去。回到家，我问妈妈，妈妈在做饭，大声说，滚出去。我问爸爸，爸爸在看求塞，正精彩，说，爽～ 我问哥哥，哥哥在打电话，温柔地说，我在外面等你啊....... 第2天，老师又问我，1+1=,我说，你给我滚出。老师气坏了，“啪”打了我一个耳光，我大声地说:爽 老师头发都竖起来了，一下把我扔出了教室，我温柔地说:———我在外面等你啊........... 老师”哇“地一声，喷血而出.... 小猪讲过的笑话..冷死 urban traffic structure in the urban public transport system, rail traffic with a fast, large capacity, low pollution and high efficiency, become an indispensable part of urban traffic structure, is the contradiction between supply and demand of the growing metropolis, cities, effective means to meet the needs of urban traffic. The following table is a rail transport and other modes of urban passenger transport capacity, transportation speed and resource consumption, and so on. Comparison of urban passenger traffic characteristics table 5.1-2 traffic volume (human/h) transport speed (km/people) Road area occupied (M2/people) scope bike 2,000 10-15 3,000 short car 20-50 10-20 wide bus 6,000-9,000 1-2 40-60 0.25-0.5 from the Metro light rail of 10,000-30,000 in long-distance line 3 More than 0,000 40-60 do not occupy an area both in terms of transport over long distances, transport efficiency, or from the level of resource consumption and environmental pollution, rail transport is undoubtedly an effective means to solve the problem of traffic congestion in cities. Especially in urban population strength enormous traffic demand on the route to ease traffic pressure, rail transportation has incomparable advantages. Washington, DC, area of 177km2, and a population of 600,000, is a United States political center. For the Washington Metro system United States second-busiest subway, second only to the New York subway, opened in 1976. Current rail sizes for 5, station 86, total 171.6km, net annual passenger volume reached 223 million people. According to statistics, from 2000 to 2009 vehicle trip down 12.7%, bus travel has increased by 12%. Objectives of the Washington Metro system boils down to the following three points: by driving onto the tracks at the station transfer mode in order to alleviate traffic congestion; For those who will not or cannot drive the person with a better option than conventional public transit; Block highway