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爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件

2018-01-15 14页 doc 41KB 29阅读

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爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件 谢谢主席,问候到场各位。爱情是指两个人之间相爱并产生相互依恋、亲近、向往的感情。婚姻指社会制度下所认可的,以共同生活为目的、两性互为配偶的结合。维持指保持、维护。 在讨论辩题时,我们发现有这样的例子,配偶双方已不认同对方的身份,甚至已分居多年没有离婚但实际婚姻已消失;又或者两个人相处多年,没有领证但实际婚姻已存在。所以我们要让讨论具有现实意义,拿一纸离婚证来界定婚姻是否存在是有失偏颇的。现实情况远比法律条例要复杂得多。在法理对法律的补充中,婚姻还需具有夫妻身份公示性和真实性,即夫妻身份要为公众认可...
爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件
爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件 谢谢主席,问候到场各位。爱情是指两个人之间相爱并产生相互依恋、亲近、向往的感情。婚姻指社会下所认可的,以共同生活为目的、两性互为配偶的结合。维持指保持、维护。 在讨论辩题时,我们发现有这样的例子,配偶双方已不认同对方的身份,甚至已分居多年没有离婚但实际婚姻已消失;又或者两个人相处多年,没有领证但实际婚姻已存在。所以我们要让讨论具有现实意义,拿一纸离婚证来界定婚姻是否存在是有失偏颇的。现实情况远比法律条例要复杂得多。在法理对法律的补充中,婚姻还需具有夫妻身份公示性和真实性,即夫妻身份要为公众认可和自我认可。所以须明确的是,维持婚姻不是简单指法律程序上的结婚而未离异,而是在事实上受社会所认可,同时夫妻双方认可彼此配偶身份的婚姻关系。 我方认为爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件。 首先,在瞬息万变的世界,爱情是婚姻牢固的纽带。当今社会,受工作、金钱等众多欲望的影响,人们会下意识地不愿意、不主动与他人分享。人们随时代激变而不断改变,不愿分享会让婚姻出现这样的情况:某一天你不再知道另一半喜欢的食物、分不清他何时需要安慰,什么时候生气上火,这样的婚姻状态是岌岌可危的。这时,唯有爱情中的依恋、亲近、向往才能维持婚姻中的沟通与交流。维持婚姻需要的是持久地维护下去,没有爱情的婚姻也许可以暂时进行下去,但无法弥补的裂痕让它变得易碎,在某天终将破裂。 其次,在琐碎的日常中,爱情才能让婚姻不会偏离重心。在现代的婚姻组成家庭中,人们的婚姻关系逐渐走向务实,被柴米油盐酱醋茶所包围,整日奔波却不知自己到底为了什么。夫妻双方会感觉到生活中存在缺憾却又不知所措,渐渐失去重心,进而对婚姻失去信心。此时爱情在平淡却暗潮汹涌的生活中,便是灯塔,不急不躁,只温和的告诉你来时的路和远方。同时,在这灯光下才勇敢紧牵双手的人们才会让更加明白婚姻的真谛—没有捷径,只有经营。 所以我方认为:爱情是维持婚姻的必要条件。 introduced a number of leading creative talents, and then the "introduction of a high-end talent, bringing an innovative team, a mainstay of the economy," the derivative effect, improving the competitiveness of inner. (C) improvement of science "three" working method. This year, the State will supply side as part of economic structural reform a top priority, structural reforms will create regional industrial transfer and investment direction change. For this change, we have to adapt domestic economic trends in quality and efficiency upgrades, find the right investment trends of the County and docking points, improved ways to improve effectiveness. One is the investment promotion policy to further clarify. To develop "three a" preferential policies, the County policy investment, not to engage in vicious competition in the County. Incentives to attract foreign investment must be clear, no investment on town street, investment task tasks departments and staff, enterprise investment enterprises, three level, have clear criteria for award. To implement the "enclave economy", the street attract projects according to the industrial development of the town planning zone landed, after tax, all included in the attract target in town street, 50% into account the task of landing zone indicators. To make "three one" promo, ... ... Advantages and policy advocacy. To implemented joint trial joint batch system, a new industrial project landing must after sent modified, and Tsunenobu, and environmental, and safety, and land, and tax, and financial, sector joint analysis argument, on environmental policy, and acres are tax, and technology, and resources using, and market prospects, for analysis, on environmental, and capacity, and security, and social stable for risk assessment, not after joint trial joint batch of project cannot landing. To increase its support for the introduction of talent, entrepreneurship, innovation talent on a class, class b business, creative talent, such as different levels of talent, in areas 《爱情与婚姻的两难选择—中日…》 在全球化浪潮时代文化背景之折射的冲击下,社会生活的内容早已被商业化、功利化,人们不断接受着消费文化的刺激,享受物质、追求物质似乎成为人类最重要的需求。在这种前提下,传统的婚姻观念便遭遇了解构,人们在追求爱情、营造婚姻家庭的过程中显得更加注重物质条件了。可以说,这种“精神平庸化”体现在爱情上就是追逐感官享受,体现在婚姻生活中就是拿金钱和地位作为衡量生活质量高低的杆称。于是,无论爱情或是婚姻,作为其基础的爱的感情似乎变得越来越无关紧要了。 中国传统的爱情故事大都以“有情人终成眷属”为结局,这是因为男女双方的爱情总有一个固定的目标——婚姻,拿我们中国的俗语来说,那便是一个盼头:有了这种盼头,男女之间的感情也不至于是虚无飘渺的了,因为爱情与婚姻是一回事,有了爱情、便有了婚姻,或者说得更准确点儿,有了婚姻、便有了爱情。因而,传统婚姻制度下的人们是很少去困惑于婚姻的,他们意念中的爱情与婚姻本就是这么简单的事,何必去自寻烦恼呢,这么一来,将婚姻生活抛进困境的就是如今正在生活着的人们了——特定的历史氛围必然会产生特定的历史状况,多元文化状态下的现代人,根本无法再像古人一般用固定的模式去看待爱情或是婚姻。他们经历了思想解放,并不断接受着世界各色潮流的洗礼,毫不犹豫地说,在现代人的眼中,爱情与婚姻不再是一回事了,它变成了两个没有太大关联的物品,因为谈恋爱的对象与结婚的对象可以是不同者,即是,爱情不必然导致结婚。 出于各种物质条件的衡量,很多人都必须带着无爱的情感去步入婚姻,大抵,曾经为爱的热烈,都不可能愿为另外一个人重演一遍,其实,婚姻破裂的警钟从一开始就已经敲响了。还有一种极为普遍的情况,就是十分相爱的两个人在步入婚姻生活后,也变得越来越淡漠,有的甚至完全失去了当初的爱,变成了仇敌一般,无法再继续一起生活下去,最终不得不分手、离异。 今非昔比,之所以会引起回忆,都是因为如今的婚姻变得不如意,变得无法挽回,就连凛子也觉得“结婚的时候怎么也想不到会像现在这样。”给人的一种印象就是,无论爱或者不爱,都会造成婚姻的解体,婚姻生活早晚都是要以无爱的状态为结局于是,很多本应追求爱情的年轻人不去相信爱情了,很多结婚的人们也开始担忧自身的婚姻状况,坦白地说,消费文化—精神危机—婚姻困境已经形成了一个恶性循环圈。 “无论什么样的爱,一结婚,陷入了日常生活,便马上会流于惰性,逐渐消磨下去。即便和凛子惊心动魄的爱也在所难免。”关键是,爱情这个东西偏偏是属于“非日常性”的,它需要艺术的、神秘的感觉去支撑,这也是为什么它常常把当事人陷于虚无飘渺之中的原因,更准确地说,它本身就是“神性”的。男女双方通过一种神秘感而相互吸引,并由于这种神秘感而不断想要探寻对方、了解对方,直至最后二人不分彼此、完全消除这种神秘才肯罢休。人们总是以为婚姻就是达到此目的的最佳方式,这并没有错,可是他们错误地论断为,神秘感的消失就明两个人之间再不会有隔阂,是完全融为一体了。孰不知,“神性”的消失就意味着剩下的只有人性,而人性所带来的必然都是生活琐事,毕竟,社会的复杂不会留给爱情太多的时间。所以,把爱情这种不太稳固的“分子”加入到需要长治久安的物质婚姻当中,恐怕是目光短浅了。 在结婚以后,把金钱与地位的高低作为他们家生活质量的,与丈夫宋建平每天重复的都是有关钱、房子和车子的话题,这让他们夫妻之间除了争吵便是不合,曾经记忆中的那份爱也渐渐地被这些烦恼取代了。 introduced a number of leading creative talents, and then the "introduction of a high-end talent, bringing an innovative team, a mainstay of the economy," the derivative effect, improving the competitiveness of inner. (C) improvement of science "three" working method. This year, the State will supply side as part of economic structural reform a top priority, structural reforms will create regional industrial transfer and investment direction change. For this change, we have to adapt domestic economic trends in quality and efficiency upgrades, find the right investment trends of the County and docking points, improved ways to improve effectiveness. One is the investment promotion policy to further clarify. To develop "three a" preferential policies, the County policy investment, not to engage in vicious competition in the County. Incentives to attract foreign investment must be clear, no investment on town street, investment task tasks departments and staff, enterprise investment enterprises, three level, have clear criteria for award. To implement the "enclave economy", the street attract projects according to the industrial development of the town planning zone landed, after tax, all included in the attract target in town street, 50% into account the task of landing zone indicators. To make "three one" promo, ... ... Advantages and policy advocacy. To implemented joint trial joint batch system, a new industrial project landing must after sent modified, and Tsunenobu, and environmental, and safety, and land, and tax, and financial, sector joint analysis argument, on environmental policy, and acres are tax, and technology, and resources using, and market prospects, for analysis, on environmental, and capacity, and security, and social stable for risk assessment, not after joint trial joint batch of project cannot landing. To increase its support for the introduction of talent, entrepreneurship, innovation talent on a class, class b business, creative talent, such as different levels of talent, in areas 婚姻是组成家庭的必要条件,除了社会救济意义上的大家庭,就几乎都是由婚姻诞生的“家”了,婚姻生活的全部内容包含在如何维持这个“家”的定义里面,懂得其深意的人能够很快乐地享受家庭生活所带来的温暖,而不知道这门哲学的人就会感受到“家”所牵扯出来的负担甚至是痛苦,坦白地说,婚姻决定着家庭生活的成败。 可一旦谈婚论嫁,就忽然变得严肃而敏感起来,之所以选择不结婚或是晚婚,并不是因为结婚有多么可怕,而是因为“家”的内涵需要太多的东西去承载、去交换。因此,无论是那些不想结婚的,还是那些已经离婚的,光从表面的迹象并不能断定他们是不爱“家”的,事实上,这反 倒证明了他们对“家”的在乎:正因为不敢轻视,所以需要认真对待,如果自己没有准备好,就不应该仓促决定,否则就是对“家”的不负责任;如果所谓的“家”已经失去了继续维持的可能,就要及时选择放手,毕竟,放手是一种成全的方式,它至少可以让家庭成员得到保护,让婚姻双方以和分手,从而在某种意义上保全了“家”,相反,那些通过硬撑而“维持”表面和谐的家庭,其实是在粉饰太平,可以说,的确是无可救药了。 、 “家”的失落是目前人类所遇到的一大难题,按理说,家是每个人心灵的归宿,是人们遭遇挫折后避风遮雨的港湾,人类应该感到自身与家庭是最为亲密的。然而现代人总是抗拒家庭,不愿意回“家”,说明现代家庭已无法给人们带来温暖,它失去了功效,已经没有能力去构筑人们心目中的“乐园”。如果说“家”是“乐园”,那么日本所持续的“失乐园热”就同样证明了“家”的失落是一种普遍现象。“失乐园”,顾名思义,是指失去的“乐园”,它包括人类赖以生存的自然环境、社会环境以及精神家园,“‘家’与‘乐园’的涵义有许 多重合之处。” 失去了“家”,仿佛失去了快乐,而要找回这种快乐,已死的“家”是不能提供的,所以只能抛弃家庭去婚外寻找,这也是《失乐园》所宣泄的情绪。其实可以解读为三种低品质的生活方式的隐喻:身心皆无所依,生命困顿;有心的安宁,却居无定所;安身有地,但心无所归 人性的缺失与弥补 柏拉图曾讲过一个有趣的故事,大致的梗概,是说原本人类都是“双性人”,男一半、女一半,这两部分将人的身体构成了一个球形。后来,这个球形的人体硬被分开了,男人和女人也就成为了现在的这副模样。故事之所以有趣,是因为它的内涵寓意深远,仅仅把眼光停留在故事表面,是肯定不会参透其中的意义的。事实上,柏拉图是在讲述一个简单的故事,却也是在讲述一个由完整人性如何变成残缺人性的理论过程。重新理顺一下,就是说,“球形”代表了完整的人,分开后,男和女各自成为了“一半”,于是,为了寻找自己的“另一半”,男人和女人开始了苦苦追寻。再深入一下,便可以如此解读:男或女都属于片面的人性,只有相互结合,才能找到那份属于人性的完美。更精准地说,光具有单方面的性别“特质”称不上具备健全的人性,“一个人越是蕴含异性特质,在人性上就越丰富和完整,也因此越善于在异性身上认出和欣赏自己的另一半。”一个人越是将性别严格地划上界线,就越显露他在人性上的不完整。 希望人们能够“宽容”“积极”地看待“离婚”。笔者较为赞同这个办法,既然我们无法预知那个改变婚姻制度的未来何时到来,就只有立足于眼下,如果我们都能不那么偏激地看待“离婚”,而把“离婚”看成是“迈向更加美好”新生活的一个起点,我们就会活得很轻introduced a number of leading creative talents, and then the "introduction of a high-end talent, bringing an innovative team, a mainstay of the economy," the derivative effect, improving the competitiveness of inner. (C) improvement of science "three" working method. This year, the State will supply side as part of economic structural reform a top priority, structural reforms will create regional industrial transfer and investment direction change. For this change, we have to adapt domestic economic trends in quality and efficiency upgrades, find the right investment trends of the County and docking points, improved ways to improve effectiveness. One is the investment promotion policy to further clarify. To develop "three a" preferential policies, the County policy investment, not to engage in vicious competition in the County. Incentives to attract foreign investment must be clear, no investment on town street, investment task tasks departments and staff, enterprise investment enterprises, three level, have clear criteria for award. To implement the "enclave economy", the street attract projects according to the industrial development of the town planning zone landed, after tax, all included in the attract target in town street, 50% into account the task of landing zone indicators. To make "three one" promo, ... ... Advantages and policy advocacy. To implemented joint trial joint batch system, a new industrial project landing must after sent modified, and Tsunenobu, and environmental, and safety, and land, and tax, and financial, sector joint analysis argument, on environmental policy, and acres are tax, and technology, and resources using, and market prospects, for analysis, on environmental, and capacity, and security, and social stable for risk assessment, not after joint trial joint batch of project cannot landing. To increase its support for the introduction of talent, entrepreneurship, innovation talent on a class, class b business, creative talent, such as different levels of talent, in areas 松了;给予别人多一些理解,自己也会有很大的收获,也只有这样,社会才有希望,我们才能更容易地走向幸福。 温情的婚姻 王海鸰在小说的结尾,点出了“中国式离婚”的主旨:爱不是“占有”,“爱同时还是宽容宽厚是通达,总之,爱,是需要能力的~”“那能力就是,让你爱的人爱你。” 那么,如何能够一直“让你爱的人爱你”呢,这是一门哲学,却也不是毫无办法:它需要恒久的耐心,做不做得到,就看每个人的悟性和门道了。刚才提到,爱是“宽容宽厚是通达”,这把爱的范围扩大了:爱不是仅限于两个人之间的感情,而是要“宽容”、厚道和理解,如此,就可以把矛盾转变成了“通达”。小说中,王海鸰用“林母”这个正面的例子来教会人们如何学会“宽容”:一是对丈夫“宽容”;二是对林小枫的生母“宽容”;三是对林小枫“宽容”。林母当年是爱着林父的,绝非此,她可能会做出另一番选择。可正是为了保护自 己的婚姻和爱,林母才选择了“宽容”,所以才有了一生幸福安定的生活。相反,林小枫对自己所爱的丈夫没有信任、没有“宽容”,她最后得到了什么呢,我们想要的,就是能和相爱的人守候一生,不管未来等待的命运是什么,只要两个人能够彼此体谅、彼此理解,也就足够了。就是这一点,却有很多人都做不到,因为他们不明白:不为“你爱的人”付出,“你爱的人”就不会“爱你”。如果想要自己的婚姻一直保持下去,就要相互体谅、相互理解,多一些“宽容”和沟通,少一些猜忌和怀疑。而且,婚姻中不是没有爱情,只不过婚姻的形 式把那种恋爱时的激情转变成了一种“亲情式的爱情”,它比纯粹的爱情更深长,比人间普通的情感更浓厚,能够相守到老的人都会明白:这是一种今生今世都无法忘怀的温暖之情。林母快离开人世的时候,林父依依不舍,“玉洁啊,你可不能扔下我不管了啊。一辈子了,我习惯了,没了你,我不行„„”林父爱过林小枫的生母,可随着时光的流逝,他已经平淡了当年的那种“爱”。他最离不开的,还是陪伴他走过一生的林心洁。因为林心洁给予他的,不仅是爱情,还有胜过爱的“宽容”与理解,这一切深深地印在了林父的生命里,他“习惯了”,也离不开了。 所以说,爱情和婚姻不是不可以调和,至少在中国人婚姻道德观里,它们是可以融合到一起的。确切地说,是婚姻融合了爱情,把爱化成了一种“温情”。 婚姻生活需要温情,这是它本身的稳固属性所决定的:太过激动的情感会造成婚姻的动摇,太过理性的眼光会造成婚姻的冷漠,只有温情——不骄躁、不消极,既有感情又有理性。如果我们能够顺利地获得温情,爱情就不会消失,婚姻也不会死。 永恒的爱 我们为什么就不能把爱情的定义放宽一些呢,“如果我们把爱情理解为男女之间极其深笃的感情,那么,我们就会看到,它决不仅限于浪漫之情,事实上还有别样的形态。”所谓“浪漫”,是由于新鲜、新奇,未知的感觉会令人产生美好的幻想,由此会让人做出一些不平常之事,这种情形我们称之为“浪漫”。可是,生活的意义就在于平凡与不平凡之中,任何的新鲜感都会在平淡的日常生活中渐渐消失,结果,所有的“浪漫”也都会没有了意义。爱情的失败在于,我们太过局限:把自己局限在狭窄的空间里,让爱情没有了成长的空间。如果我们能够敞开心扉,就能够宽容地接纳那种“男女之间极其深笃的感情”,它不仅包括男女恋爱中的激情、婚后夫妻之间的温情、还包括男女之间的诚挚友情,就连无意之中的邂逅,乃至无果的相思都可以包含在内。如此,我们就能换一种方式去理解王海鸰的“感情是introduced a number of leading creative talents, and then the "introduction of a high-end talent, bringing an innovative team, a mainstay of the economy," the derivative effect, improving the competitiveness of inner. (C) improvement of science "three" working method. This year, the State will supply side as part of economic structural reform a top priority, structural reforms will create regional industrial transfer and investment direction change. For this change, we have to adapt domestic economic trends in quality and efficiency upgrades, find the right investment trends of the County and docking points, improved ways to improve effectiveness. One is the investment promotion policy to further clarify. To develop "three a" preferential policies, the County policy investment, not to engage in vicious competition in the County. Incentives to attract foreign investment must be clear, no investment on town street, investment task tasks departments and staff, enterprise investment enterprises, three level, have clear criteria for award. To implement the "enclave economy", the street attract projects according to the industrial development of the town planning zone landed, after tax, all included in the attract target in town street, 50% into account the task of landing zone indicators. To make "three one" promo, ... ... Advantages and policy advocacy. To implemented joint trial joint batch system, a new industrial project landing must after sent modified, and Tsunenobu, and environmental, and safety, and land, and tax, and financial, sector joint analysis argument, on environmental policy, and acres are tax, and technology, and resources using, and market prospects, for analysis, on environmental, and capacity, and security, and social stable for risk assessment, not after joint trial joint batch of project cannot landing. To increase its support for the introduction of talent, entrepreneurship, innovation talent on a class, class b business, creative talent, such as different levels of talent, in areas 流动的”观点。虽然爱情是在“流动”,可它不是远远地流走了。如果把爱情当作一条河, 那么人生的每个角落里都会等待着爱情,因为河在向前“流动”,我们也一直会沿着河岸向 前走,在这过程中,我们不只是看着河流的方向,还会欣赏到沿途美丽的风景。所以,“感 情”的“流动”,不是意味着感情的死亡,它反而预示着爱情的重生。在爱情宽泛的定义里, 所有的美好记忆都可以不死,我们总会在“流动”的河岸边遇到类似于“极其深笃的感情”, 这便是“永恒”的爱情。 introduced a number of leading creative talents, and then the "introduction of a high-end talent, bringing an innovative team, a mainstay of the economy," the derivative effect, improving the competitiveness of inner. (C) improvement of science "three" working method. This year, the State will supply side as part of economic structural reform a top priority, structural reforms will create regional industrial transfer and investment direction change. For this change, we have to adapt domestic economic trends in quality and efficiency upgrades, find the right investment trends of the County and docking points, improved ways to improve effectiveness. One is the investment promotion policy to further clarify. To develop "three a" preferential policies, the County policy investment, not to engage in vicious competition in the County. Incentives to attract foreign investment must be clear, no investment on town street, investment task tasks departments and staff, enterprise investment enterprises, three level, have clear criteria for award. To implement the "enclave economy", the street attract projects according to the industrial development of the town planning zone landed, after tax, all included in the attract target in town street, 50% into account the task of landing zone indicators. To make "three one" promo, ... ... Advantages and policy advocacy. To implemented joint trial joint batch system, a new industrial project landing must after sent modified, and Tsunenobu, and environmental, and safety, and land, and tax, and financial, sector joint analysis argument, on environmental policy, and acres are tax, and technology, and resources using, and market prospects, for analysis, on environmental, and capacity, and security, and social stable for risk assessment, not after joint trial joint batch of project cannot landing. To increase its support for the introduction of talent, entrepreneurship, innovation talent on a class, class b business, creative talent, such as different levels of talent, in areas
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