2012 中考作文讲习一(2010 长沙卷)

2010年湖南长沙卷 中考真题 假如你的笔友(来自美国的 Mike )下个月将到你校交流学习,请你把 Mike 的情况提前介绍给同学们。 要求: 1. 包括: (1) Mike 的家庭情况。 (2) Mike 的性格特点和兴趣爱好。 (3) Mike 的父母和同学对他的评价。 (4) Mike 来中国的原因。 2.字数:60 ~ 80 词。 3.短文中不得出现你的真实姓名、学校名和地名。 因为专注所以专业 1 名师解析 1.试题解读 这是一种半开放的题型:第一条的 4 个内容全由作者自己决定,但不能漏掉任何一点。每项内容都要合理。可幸的是,课本中有过这样的文章,这为写作提供了很好的素材。能够背诵出来的同学可以对原文稍微修改一下即可。 2.写作信息要点 (1) 家庭情况:成员的职业、富裕度、幸福、和睦。 (2) 性格特点:热心、随和、直率、乐于助人。兴趣爱好:篮球、足球、乒乓、电脑、读书、游泳等。 (3) 别人的评价:好孩子、好人、可爱、勤奋、好学等。 (4) 来中国的原因:交流学习(了解中国、学习汉语、我校的学生生活、交友等)。 3.可用素材 (1) 词汇: next month,teacher,company,kind/loving,favorite,in one's spare time, lovely,make friends with,to know something about China... (2) 句式: ① Mike,my American pen friend,will come to our school next month. ② His father is a middle school teacher,and his mother works in a computer company. ③ In his spare time,he spends as much time as possible doing some reading. ④ In the eyes of his parents,he is a good and lovely boy. 4.注意事项 ①认真阅题,布好局,谋好篇。 ②适当准确地连词,让文章连贯自然。 ③尽可能地使用多变的语法句式,为文章挣得多个得分点。 满分文展示 1 (①Mike,my American pen friend,will come to our school next month.)I'd like to tell you something about Mike. (②Mike lives in a happy family.His father is a middle school teacher,and his mother works in a computer company.) Mike is kind and loving.He likes helping others.His favorite sport is playing basketball.(③In his spare time,he spends as much time as possible doing some reading.)As he often says,reading improves a person. In the eyes of his parents,he is a good and lovely boy.(④All his classmates think he is hardworking,and a good friend to make with.) (⑤Mike this time comes to our school to know our school life,and at the same time,he wants to be our friend.)I think you can accept him. 旁批 1.该处正确地使用了同位语,使得句式富有变化。 2.机智地介绍家庭情况,巧妙地使用 and,使得简单句成为并列句,对仗工整。 3.没有干瘪地介绍爱好,而是使用 spend time doing sth.结构,高级、亮丽,令人赞叹。 4.并列语,尤其是 a good friend to make with 的使用,更是巧妙绝伦。 5.使用动词不定式作目的状语,连接副词 at the same time,不能不让阅卷老师不给高分。 满分揭秘 本文是一篇优秀的中考临场作文,具体表现在:语言质朴,要点齐全,能恰当地使用连词,能够使用高级词汇(spend,in the eyes of)。最可贵的是,作者自创谚语:As he often says,reading improves a person.所有这些都为增分提供了坚实的基础。正是这样的原因,该篇作文非得满分不可。 标准 My pen pal,Mike,will come to our school to study next month.He is an American.He is fifteen.There are three people in his family.His father is an engineer,and his mother is a teacher.He is outgoing and he likes to help others.In his free time,he likes listening to pop music and playing basketball.His parents and classmates all think he is a lovely boy.He wants to learn Chinese,and he loves Chinese food.That's the reason why he will come to China.I hope you can make friends with him.