制造浪漫的十个秘诀

制造浪漫的十个秘诀 如何制造浪漫？ 爱情和其他很多事物一样，细节决定成败。一句错话或者一个异样的眼神，都可能让夫妻俩整个 礼拜不理不睬。一些看似细小的行为，实则爱情保鲜的关键。一件小礼物，一声不经意的问候， 片刻的身体接触，都会大大增进感情。 心理学家Nathaniel Branden和Robert Sternberg研究人类的爱情关系并撰写过论文，他们认 为，相比于主动倾听和信赖，微小的示爱行为更能取得出乎意料的结果。他们的研究提出了十项 原则，用以使伴侣们两情相悦，和睦相处。 1.告诉你的爱人，你爱他（她） 俗话说，说得好不如做得好。但是，言语却能比行动更加清楚地体现你的情意。请你试着做一下， 时不时对他（她）说出你的爱。一句“我爱你”或者“你是我的全世界”，就可以为你的另一半 带去关爱，增进彼此感情。 2.现爱意 小小的身体上的亲昵——比如轻抚后背，坐在沙发上时手臂绕过他（她）的肩，并排坐时用手搭 着他（她）的大腿，手牵手走在街上——可以带给他（她）温暖，表达爱意。这些细小的接触， 有时比整晚的鱼水之欢都重要。 3.对爱人表示欣赏 让你的爱人知道，你最喜欢他（她）哪一点——你欣赏什么，钦佩什么，他（她）在你眼中的长 浪漫的关系，不仅仅是两人的结合那么简单，还需要两个人彼此鼓励，彼处又是什么。打造一种 此支持，共同历练，共同成长。经常鼓励你的爱人，帮助他（她）挖掘潜能。 4.和他（她）分享你自己 不要隐藏你的喜恶，你的成就与失败，也不要把梦想和忧惧埋在心底。凡是对你重要的事情，请 你和你的伴侣分享吧，而且，比与其他人分享的更多。虽然再亲近的感情也需要保留一点个人空 间，不过，还是应该尽可能多地分一些时间给你的伴侣。 5.永远在他（她）身旁 如果你的爱人遇到生活中的挑战，比如职场失意，亲人去世，你当然知道该做什么。然而，当你 的爱人遇到一些小麻烦时，比如工作中起了争执，搭乘拥挤的班车，丢了支票，给予他（她）支 持同样重要。别被整得像个受气包，但更别对爱人动口甚至动手。心态要好，脸皮要厚，一旦出 了什么乱子，务必保持冷静和理智。倾听他的（她）烦恼，尽可能伸出援手——即便只是出于同 情心。 6.送礼物 抓住时机，从物质上表现你的爱意。一本合适的，一份特别的甜点，一件珠宝，或是一套衣服， 礼品不论贵贱，都可以传情达意。写一张充满爱意的小纸条，或者上班时发一条“我爱你”的短 信，这些微不足道的举动说明他（她）始终在你心里，有助于取悦伴侣，增进感情。 7.对爱人的需求作出合适的答复 过分期待是婚姻大忌。你爱人身上存在着人类共有的弱点，如果你娶（嫁）了一台机器人，那另 当别论。缺陷是人的特点，并不是什么糟糕的东西。怪癖，是人之所以为人的重要元素之一，所 以学着接受它、欣赏它吧。我们的弱点经常来自于深层的不安全感，谨记，不要责怪，更不要揭 短。 8.重视两人独处的时间 两个人生活再忙，也得约好每礼拜抽出一两个晚上独处。交流经验，分享故事，或者只是静静地 享受爱人的陪伴。 9.不要想当然 培养感激之心，感激他（她）为你人生带来的无数幸福时刻。如果你在爱情之中感到幸福，请别 忘记，这些幸福是你爱人通过无数件日常小事苦心经营而来的（对于你爱人来说，可能你也做了 同样的事情）。不要对幸福想当然。维持感情是一项最需要统筹安排的工作，一旦放松，感情立 即随风而逝。 10.保持平等 时刻遵循感情的黄金法则：像对待自己一样对待爱人。尽量做到家务、活计分工合理。如果你不 情愿为爱人付出，那么反过来也不要太指望爱人带给你特殊的关怀。 September 10th, 2008 in Featured, Lifestyle In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it’s the little things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or odd look can throw a couple into a weeks-long feud, small relationship on track. A little gift, and seemingly insignificant gestures can help keep a an off-hand compliment, a moment of physical contact can vastly strengthen a relationship. According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg, who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the "active listening" and trust games in the world. Their research has suggested 10 keys to keeping both partners content, satisfied, and happy with each other. Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more clearly than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your partner. love you” or “You mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making A simple “I your significant other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship. Small acts of physical intimacy – the hand on the small of the back as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side-by-side, holding hands while walking down the street – give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy. Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn’t jsut about the initial bonding – it’s about encouraging and supporting each other’s growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his or her potential by constantly building them up. Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it with your partner. More than that, be sure to share more with your partner than you do with anyone else. While there is certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to your partner. It’s obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it’s just as important to be supportive when your partner faces life’s little challenges, too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Don’t let yourself be a doormat, and definitely don’t stand for physical or verbal abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes. Listen to what’s bothering them and offer whatever help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can. Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an SMS at work to “I love you” – again, the little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your partner feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship. A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless you married a robot, your partner comes pre-loaded with a whole range of human failures and foibles. These are features, not bugs! Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses are often at the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don’t pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner’s flaws. No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new experiences, share your stories, and just generally enjoy each other’s company. Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your relationship work (as, hopefully, you are for them). Never take that for granted – a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second you stop it starts to slide away. Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division of household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special considerations you’d be unwilling to offer in return.