1) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money. 2) Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. 3) Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 4) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. Wedding vow I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward, until death do us part.